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Can we revisit Skid journaling her visits?

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Submitted by momjeans on Sat, 11/17/2018 - 10:13am

Because it really has me reeling lately.

MIL is really ramping-up her fake niceties with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner and all, wanting to ensure I engage with all of them, and it’s amplifying my anxiety that skid will be journaling DH’s (and mine?) every move, every word spoken, over Christmas.

FIL pawning DH’s guitar - part deux

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Submitted by momjeans on Sat, 10/06/2018 - 7:12am

DH’s father recently asked if he could pawn his (DH’s) high end Martin guitar. DH stupidly gives him permission. A few days later, FIL shows-up at DH’s work, bearing gifts - expensive shoes for DH. Per DH, FIL also handed him a couple unused McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes & toys. You know... something for the kids. My kids don’t eat McDonald’s, but, uh, okay.

FIL pawning DH’s property

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Submitted by momjeans on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 11:52am

... with DH’s permission, of course. A couple of high-end acoustic Martin guitars, to be exact. 

I guess it wouldn’t bother me too much if this wasn’t the same person that enables DH’s high conflict ex, the BM, by paying for plane tickets for visits that are against the court ordered visitation.

Or the same person that’s addicted to the puppy phase of dog ownership, and has 6 dogs to prove it.

DH’s half sister contacted me...

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Submitted by momjeans on Mon, 09/24/2018 - 3:51pm

about a week ago, and I just got around to reading her message.

I admit, I was leery at first, because we’re really not all that close. We’ve been around one another a couple times. She’s an attorney and she seems friendly and sweet enough. 

So, she inquired how we are, how the kids are, then just kind of went into what she wanted to share, and it was very step family related. 

This co-parenting question caught my eye

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Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 09/19/2018 - 11:37pm

on Facebook, in a science group, of all places. 

“Hey. In divorce situations I have heard people say when their parents maintained a goodnrelationship, doing activities together, etc it was confusing to the child and made them think they would get back together. It all seems so confusing. What is the healthiest balance for children for family relationships In a divorce?”

I *think* I know what advice I’d give, but I’m curious what your advice would be.

Meanwhile, it has been 39 days...

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Submitted by momjeans on Mon, 09/17/2018 - 12:30pm

since in-laws have seen our children.

That’s right! MIL and FIL have not seen or spoken to our children since skid left last month. My in-laws live 12 miles // 20 minutes away. 

These are the moments when disengagement is extremely difficult for me. If I were to point this out to MIL her response would be “Well, I know you don’t like us coming around, momjeans.”

Skid has been gone a month

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Submitted by momjeans on Thu, 09/06/2018 - 8:24am

... and I finally got the opportunity to nudge DH towards dealing with this whole journal issue (read my last blog post). 

DH and I were out shopping yesterday, for nothing in particular, or at least I thought, until I noticed he was browsing the birthday cards, cute trinkets, and journals. Ah ha, that’s right, skid’s birthday is in eight days. 

Side note: Skid lives on the other side of the U.S., and without my help, there is NO WAY this birthday package is going to arrive on time. DH is a procrastinator when it comes to stuff like this. But, oh well.

Skid documented her summer visitation - then gave it to DH

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Submitted by momjeans on Fri, 08/10/2018 - 9:05am

The title says it all.

Skid has been documenting this summer’s visitation, detailing her interactions with DH. Gauging her thoughts and feelings by what made her “uncomfortable” and “comfortable.” These are the keys words she uses in her poorly spelled, psychobabble journal ramblings. It reeks of therapist led - which is fine. Skid gave it to him before leaving for the airport yesterday. 

I’ll preface this with the fact that I’m a HUGE fan of therapy. I’m just a little worried that skid is possibly seeing a poor COD centric one, though.

Disengaged summer + Skid leaving soonish

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Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 08/01/2018 - 9:25am

Skid has been here since around the 10th of June, or so. I don’t know the exact day she arrived, as no one shared that information with me. She’s due to leave, fly back home on August 10th, per DH.

And although this summer has been particularly rough, emotionally, I’ve managed to stay disengaged for the most part. It has been empowering to back my words with actions.

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