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FIL pawning DH’s property

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... with DH’s permission, of course. A couple of high-end acoustic Martin guitars, to be exact. 

I guess it wouldn’t bother me too much if this wasn’t the same person that enables DH’s high conflict ex, the BM, by paying for plane tickets for visits that are against the court ordered visitation.

Or the same person that’s addicted to the puppy phase of dog ownership, and has 6 dogs to prove it.

DH’s half sister contacted me...

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about a week ago, and I just got around to reading her message.

I admit, I was leery at first, because we’re really not all that close. We’ve been around one another a couple times. She’s an attorney and she seems friendly and sweet enough. 

So, she inquired how we are, how the kids are, then just kind of went into what she wanted to share, and it was very step family related. 

This co-parenting question caught my eye

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on Facebook, in a science group, of all places. 

“Hey. In divorce situations I have heard people say when their parents maintained a goodnrelationship, doing activities together, etc it was confusing to the child and made them think they would get back together. It all seems so confusing. What is the healthiest balance for children for family relationships In a divorce?”

I *think* I know what advice I’d give, but I’m curious what your advice would be.

Meanwhile, it has been 39 days...

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since in-laws have seen our children.

That’s right! MIL and FIL have not seen or spoken to our children since skid left last month. My in-laws live 12 miles // 20 minutes away. 

These are the moments when disengagement is extremely difficult for me. If I were to point this out to MIL her response would be “Well, I know you don’t like us coming around, momjeans.”

Skid has been gone a month

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... and I finally got the opportunity to nudge DH towards dealing with this whole journal issue (read my last blog post). 

DH and I were out shopping yesterday, for nothing in particular, or at least I thought, until I noticed he was browsing the birthday cards, cute trinkets, and journals. Ah ha, that’s right, skid’s birthday is in eight days. 

Side note: Skid lives on the other side of the U.S., and without my help, there is NO WAY this birthday package is going to arrive on time. DH is a procrastinator when it comes to stuff like this. But, oh well.

Skid documented her summer visitation - then gave it to DH

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The title says it all.

Skid has been documenting this summer’s visitation, detailing her interactions with DH. Gauging her thoughts and feelings by what made her “uncomfortable” and “comfortable.” These are the keys words she uses in her poorly spelled, psychobabble journal ramblings. It reeks of therapist led - which is fine. Skid gave it to him before leaving for the airport yesterday. 

I’ll preface this with the fact that I’m a HUGE fan of therapy. I’m just a little worried that skid is possibly seeing a poor COD centric one, though.

Disengaged summer + Skid leaving soonish

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Skid has been here since around the 10th of June, or so. I don’t know the exact day she arrived, as no one shared that information with me. She’s due to leave, fly back home on August 10th, per DH.

And although this summer has been particularly rough, emotionally, I’ve managed to stay disengaged for the most part. It has been empowering to back my words with actions.

Summer Update

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This summer has been rough, as you can tell by all the recent blog entries. With that said, I’ve managed to put more than usual distance between me and skid this summer. I’ve reached a point where I’m hyper aware to not allow myself to getting duped into “hanging out” with skid because “She’s older now; she’ll be helpful. It will give you a break!” nonsense. 

Um, no, she’s not helpful. She also never shuts the heck up. Ever. 

Musings from yesterday’s Dysfunctional BBQ

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Skid - She’s boisterous in an annoying and attention seeking way. She’s never NOT talking or being loud. She is SO sassy, in a I think I’m so cute and funny way. Except it’s not. With a third of the things she says, all I can think is Wow, my mom would have backhanded me in the mouth if I said that. No one ever corrects her, because you know, “she’s just a child” - per my DH. 

I cringe at the thought of skid at 13, 14, 15, etcetera. If she is like this now? Oh, no no no no. 

Not-so-happy Dysfunctional BBQ Eve

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Tomorrow is the 4th and we’ll be BBQing. We love to BBQ and enjoy all the yummy side dish goodness and outdoor time at our house. It looks like I’ll be making/prepping large batches of food, considering DH is being his usual evasive self in regards to skid and his parents showing up. 95% positive they will, as I’ve recently observed that DH most likely feels he’s somehow better off, and not in the line of fire, if he springs information like this on me last minute. 

I tried to confirm with DH this morning, who will be here tomorrow, and he replied it’s “best to expect company.”