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I tricked DH into coughing up skid’s holiday visitation itinerary

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DH and I had a heated text exchange, while I was at work today. Ultimately, I ended up clapping back at him in regards to how I have to lurk his parent’s public social media accounts, every effing year, just to find out when skid will be here for summer AND Christmas visitation. 

DH said “Skid will be here on the 17th.” 

I didn’t even bother inquiring how long he knew this information, because I always get a “I just found out myself, momjeans!” 


Little petty victories

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Skid is currently Student Of The Month. She’s consistently an honor roll student, we’re already aware of this, but apparently it was newsworthy enough to consume an entire evening of group texting about it.

DH and I put the littles to bed last night (they go to bed early - like 7:00/7:30) then sat down to watch Seth Meyer’s stand-up on Netflix. DH’s phone starts going off nonstop with a group text between him, skid, and both of his parents. DH says it’s about skid’s Student Of The Month. 

O/T: Coworker is back on his BS

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Here’s the original post regarding it:

I recently leveled-up at work, so to speak, and this has put me in the position of having to occasionally be around and verbally engage with this male coworker. 

That in itself is no big deal, as I’ve since asserted Grey Rocking, worst case ghosting, the living daylights out of this dude. 

Adios, idiota! (Goodbye, idiot!)

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Skid leaves today.

And I only found out because princess idiot was at our house when I got home from work yesterday. DH took skid and our littles hiking yesterday, apparently, where skid asked him a slew of idiotic questions. Questions an average 8th grader should know about life and the world around her, per DH.

That was funny. 

Stay out of MY stuff, skid

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For how damn cold I am with skid, and disengaged I am from skid - she has the audacity to use my stuff. Like, beauty product stuff. 

We only have one bathroom in our home, so all of my (hair, skin, nails) beauty products are kept in a closet in our bathroom. Up high of course, because we have littles.

That said, and like a lot of women, I have a good amount of midrange to expensive products. Since I only splurge on manicures and pedicures every few month, I have invested in some spendy polish. Polish that’s around $15 - $20 a bottle. 

The benefits of disengagement

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The whole Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys mantra.

It’s late morning/early afternoon. DH and I are sitting on the couch, drinking coffee, listening to music, and of course, being entertained by the littles before he heads off to work. He closes the restaurant tonight, which means he will be home super late. Like midnight or later.

I notice he’s active on his phone. No biggie, but I notice he’s more active than usual when it comes to receiving texts in regards to employees calling out sick, food delivery truck hasn’t arrived yet, etcetera.

Then the bomb drops.

Skid goes to jesus camp

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Prior to skid’s arrival for summer visitation, DH tried to get me all jazzed-up and on-board with skid’s summer itinerary. It was going to be camp, camp, and more camp. Since I’m disengaged, I didn’t press for details. Because, well, I kind of expected it to play out like it has. 

A few days ago, Skid finished up her one and only week of day camp. And since DH couldn’t be bothered to enroll skid into camp(s) where she’d actually learn or experience something of worth, this is what skid got...

From cats to mosquitoes

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Apparently, there are no mosquitoes in skid’s city, because oh boy is it an issue. Actually, it’s an issue every year when she’s here.

Yes, we live in the south. Yes, bugs are a problem in the summertime, but they’re not nonexistent where skid lives. We know this because we used to live there too.

Last night, skid was mouthing something to MIL in our kitchen, in an attempt to keep it on the down-low that she was getting bit (walking from the car into our home, I assume?) and needed mosquito bite medicine pronto. 

You’re so vain, skid.

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Oh, skid. GTF over yourself.

You, taking selfies with your iPhone selfie ring light, while sitting at our dining room table amongst conversing adults, was downright comical to watch from afar. Your dad’s secondhand embarrassment for you was palpable.

You’re quite the self-absorbed and dimwitted BM 2.0 version in the making aren’t you?

This clueless, lack of common sense shtick of yours while getting a high priced education makes your dad want to cry.

Skid + (our) cats

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My DD (5.5) informed me today that “skid is allergic to cats,” and I AM HERE FOR IT.

Seriously, I am overjoyed at the thought of this so-called allergy keeping her far, far away.

Funny that skid had no issues being around our two cats last summer...

Also, my in-laws have an indoor cat. A blind geriatric one - but, a cat.