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An update ** waves “Hi!” **

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 6:41am

Not much is new. 

MIL is is full arse-shining mode with me, given we’re in the homestretch of Skid’s tentative summer visitation. She generally arrives sometime around the end of May, so MIL puts in the extra effort to get me onboard with the game plan, holding out hope that I’ll miraculously start doting over Skid and playing babysitter all summer.

After last summer’s shenanigans? No way. 

Skid kept a journal of DH’s every move and word spoken. Then had the nerve to hand it to him as she exited stage left to catch her flight back home. They’re out of their damn minds if they think for one second I will willingly subject myself to such intrusive and entitled BS. Such a princess, that Skid.

Another log on that fire is that FIL’s mental health issues have really reared its head this year. I’m sure MIL is torn between wanting to keep Skid shielded from it, because ‘perfect happy family’ and all that jazz. Would hate for any of that to get back to DH’s ex in-laws. The pearl-clutching horror... to thinking having Skid around FIL all summer might keep his mind busy and off of other thoughts. 

Aside from bracing myself for the potential dramatic storm, life is going well. DH and I have been working on our marriage and it hasn’t been better - like, ever. Kids are happy and healthy. I’ve been putting in a lot of garden time, and devoting myself to a good amount of social bonding with a handful of close girlfriends. 

Feel free to hit me with some witty, truth bomb clap back ideas for MIL. Because I know it’s coming. The, “But whyyyyyyyy, Momjeans, I’ve been SO good to you!”

Comments

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 2:18pm

How old is dh's daughter?

--------------Skid kept a journal of DH’s every move and word spoken. Then had the nerve to hand it to him as she exited stage left to catch her flight back home. They’re out of their damn minds if they think for one second I will willingly subject myself to such intrusive and entitled BS.------

Momjeans, there is nothing worse than being violated inside your own home.

Taking notes is not normal behavior unless the intent is to hand it over as evidence. EDIT: A diary is one thing,,,girls would never hand that over to daddy Wink

 That is a hostile environment and I would not allow that inside my home. i don't care WHO it is/was.

Not sure what to say about Granny/MIL...you have bigger fish to fry with your home being documented.

Sorry...i know what that feels like.

 

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 3:06pm

Thanks, Goodluck.

DH’s daughter will be 13 in September, so he’ll be entering uncharted waters starting this summer, when it comes to girl + teen drama and manipulation. 

If she’s morphing into anything like her mom, she’s going to be A LOT of fun. Eye roll. 

DH was more unphased by this “journal” than I was. I was livid, because who the heck does that? Skid claimed it was under the advisement of her therapist. If anything, DH thinks this was/is a power move by BM. To play to an audience of one, the therapist, that DH is a big bad no good daddy. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 3:18pm

Hi, momjeans. Thanks for checking in.

Too funny that you can see your MIL's manipulation for what it is. No way would I want to have to babysit a hostile spy. Your H works such long hours at the family business though, how will he be able to care for SD? Have you told him you don't want her around when he's not there?

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 7:55pm

Hi, Aniki!

** big puffy heart **

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Thu, 05/02/2019 - 6:59am

Hello! 

No, I haven’t voiced that to DH, because I think it’s sorta an unspoken knowledge between us - that I will not subject myself to any mind games, woe is me BS. Plus, I view a lot of it as just an extension of BM keeping her tentacles in our lives, because causing DH grief is one of BM’s favorite pastimes. 

I believe this has a lot to do with why MIL is so heavily involved with visitation. Standing-up to BM and setting hard boundaries only pisses her off more, and MIL doesn’t wish to ever anger BM. LOL

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 4:55pm

Your welcome Momjeans...

I would be interested in knowing more about therapist suggestions (if true) to write a journal than pass it on to the parent? It should have been discussed in the session....not tossed on the kitchen table as she dashes out the door to catch a flight..... 

Hang in there.

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 05/01/2019 - 8:01pm

I know. Strange, isn’t it? I mean, I would (maybe) get it if she was giving DH a carbon copy of her journal, but by all outward appearances, Skid was journaling for the sole purpose of handing it over to DH. Makes zero sense. 

My heart hurts for DH, since that incident. I’m also 110% on guard after that, because I am under no obligation to live up to a certain standard for her, BM, or a therapist. It’s laughable, and my in-laws are dimwitted enough to go along with it. 

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 05/07/2019 - 9:16pm

Since we have similar MiLs, I’d love to hear your experience with the following:

1) What was your DH’s relationship with MiL when you met him?

2) Has he done any work around healthy boundaries? My DH doesn’t quite understand what boundaries are and I’m trying to help him learn how to both set and enforce them without giving MiL more ammunition that DH is just ungrateful and terrible.

Finally, I hear you on the spying. One SS doesn’t take notes, but based on some emails from BM he seems to report everything back to BM as soon as he gets home. It’s not easy surviving with spies in my home EOWE.