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FIL pawning DH’s guitar - part deux

momjeans's picture

DH’s father recently asked if he could pawn his (DH’s) high end Martin guitar. DH stupidly gives him permission. A few days later, FIL shows-up at DH’s work, bearing gifts - expensive shoes for DH. Per DH, FIL also handed him a couple unused McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes & toys. You know... something for the kids. My kids don’t eat McDonald’s, but, uh, okay.

I’ve always felt that one, if not both, of DH’s parent’s is a an altruistic narcissist. With that said, that first part, it’s totally altruism, right? Especially since there’s a pattern with this behavior? Moreso when they’ve been put in the airlock, because of other unfavorable and toxic behavior. 

Here’s the best part: When I pointed out the ridiculousness with the chain of events, DH immediately responds with a “Yeah, well I don’t think my dad is going to live longer than a year.” 

Huh? Diversion much? 

(Narcissistic altruism - The act of giving enhances the narcissist's sense of omnipotence, his amazing generosity, and the secret contempt he holds for others. It is easy to feel superior to the recipients of one's generosity. It is about exerting control and maintaining it by fostering dependence in the beneficiaries.)