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PALEASE tell me I'm not overreacting

MomandSMofSix's picture

SO accepted a 20 year old girls friend request on fb this week. His defense is that is was SS20's ex junkie gf and she probably just wants to keep tabs on him (SS20 since hes in the hospital). Um...inappropriate much?! He's literally sitting here laughing at me saying I'm making something out of nothing and overreacting... if its nothing and she's no one, one, why are you even friends with her? And two, why are you defending your friendship with her to me so much??

Now she's going through all the pics of our new daughter liking them... which is the only reason I even knew about her...

I find it highly inappropriate that a man who's going to be 40 in a month is accepting friend requests from 2p year old girls... I don't care HOW they know eachieve other.

Btw, she's already currently friends with the sister who keeps posting EVERYTHING about SS20's condition on fb, so his defense of her wanting to keep tabs on SS20 went out the window right there.

Am I overreacting?

Comments

Indigo's picture

DH is wrong. "Friending" any of SS20's friends is odd, but doing it with an exGF who is an addict? Helpful? No. Idiotic. Yes.

oneoffour's picture

Um.. WAY over the line. This would have me coming up with something vile that is constantly appearing on his FB. No married man befriends a 20 yr old EX gf of his sons. NO ONE. Not unless she is flattering his ego. And he finds it 'fun'.

Just start tagging crap to him and blow up his FB site. Start with men who stray. Men who like women half his age. Where is Lorena Bobbitt Now? Stuff like that.

Maxwell09's picture

He's gas lighting you. He's trying to make it seem like you are the insecure one that's overreacting. He knows he's wrong and is deflecting. You should ask him if it's okay for you to befriend "John" the hot young neighbor/lawnboy or whatever type you have around your area. Hell say "Its not the same" and you'll know you're right about the situation. Tell him to delete her because if he's going to embarrass you by cheating on you with a 20 something year old, he can at the very least keep it off of social media! His lack of concern for your feelings is strange, are yall having a rough patch? He might be doing the good ole boy trick where a guy screws up reatedly so that the woman finally calls it quits that way he's not the bad guy. Just a thought.

MomandSMofSix's picture

I am honestly feeling relieved reading these comments tonight as SO went to bed with me still FUMING and him still defending that it's "no big deal".

I am constantly reminding him that there are boundaries in life and in love and certain ones you just DON'T cross.

I told him to stop making me feel like I'm the insecure or jealous type when I'm the respectful/responsible one and to put himself in my shoes...

z3girl's picture

^Like...lol

While I can understand OP feeling uncomfortable with this, I think it's probably not that much of a big deal. OP expressed her discomfort, so maybe he'll question his intentions in case there is something inappropriate.

Yeah, I don't think most people are truly friends with the majority of people on FB. I know my DH isn't. If FB were to be a true view of people, my DH would look like some insane conservative political nut. He doesn't talk politics at all around me.

nunya1983's picture

I'm on the side with the majority here, you are in the right, he's in the wrong. I could understand if she was his CURRENT girl friend. She also could go visit SS in the hospital if she really wanted updates.

She's an ex for a reason. Maybe dh is the reason, she doesn't really want ss,she wants dh, and maybe he wants her too

MomandSMofSix's picture

Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. All one and the same and THANK YOU!

SS20 was told he was going to be put into a facility that he cannot leave in order to get better and he had a meltdown. Sounds like someone who wants to get better right? And they gave him Ativan for his "anxiety while he's going through this" and now that's all he ever wants. I finally broke down and went to visit him and beside being a total D*CK to the nurses and his father, all he cared about was getting his Ativan. Asked 6 times while I was there! I was only there for an hour.

He has ZERO desire to get better, and despite my constant pleading with SO to handle it my way, he just can't seem to let go or be tough. I feel sorry for him because he's going to "love his son to death"... literally.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Ah, the addiction thing. Now that is a horse of a different color. My other comment was made in an info vacuum. Yes, your dh does not understand addiction.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Sorry, my FB page is super public. I accept friend requests from just about anybody unless I find a specific reason to exclude them. Some of the men definitely try to hit on me. DH knows. It's just the nature of the beast. My work is very public so this is just part and parcel of that. Young adults befriending parents of their posse seems harmless enough to me. But you are the one with the facts on the ground. If you feel your dh is prone to online flirting or this girl is predatory, it's possible the situation is very different from what I've got.

momof3smof2's picture

Yes, you're overreacting. I'm friends with numerous male and female friends (past and present) of my kids. My husband isn't, but he's fairly inactive on social media.

Personally, is be pretty offended, indignant & downright pissed off if my husband questioned my "friends" on Facebook.