Phone Access/texting question
Steptalkers, I've read about this before but it finally happened here. After lifting the Verizon block (which DH put on a couple months ago after BM texted him several times that she wished he was dead/the world would be a better place if he was dead/kids would be better off with him dead) because we are away for a week and she demanded (as per CO) to have a number at which to reach her sons twice a day, DH discovered that SStwin (almost 11 years old) had been texting with her on his iPod, most of the day yesterday. From morning til night.
How have you handled this? How have you explained it to your kids/skids? He thinks it was a really sneaky thing for her to arrange, and of course SS has been manipulated into thinking it's appropriate/necessary to be in constant contact with her. Keep in mind that these kids just got back from 3 weeks overseas with her and her family. They Skyped and called DH a few times but this is excessive, considering that 1. They are 10 and 2. She has phone access.
Ugh. DH says he worries that she's going to try to text them all day while they're at school but I think this is just because they're with him and me and the rest of this part of their family.
Any advice would be appreciated!
Thank you!!
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Comments
DH needs to sit down with his
DH needs to sit down with his sons and ask them point blank why they need to text with their mother all day and night. And if so would this be OK for him to do the same thing with them when they are with their mother?
But then I would take them regularly to somewhere in the locale where the signal is shitty at best. Or a waterpark where having their iPads would be useless when wet. Or just lock them away from 9am until 7 pm.
Or lock down the iPads to certain times of the day until the boys can learn to use them wisely. So many kids these days think they will disembowel themselves if they do not have 24/7 access to EVERYONE. And it seems that their mother isn't respecting DHs parenting time and encouraging them otherwise.
No discussion. Rules are no
No discussion. Rules are no electronics while with you. Kid may be being a bit sneaky, but this is uncertain territory, a loyalty game. So don't play into that!
Thank you, everyone. I really
Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate your advice. Disabled messaging and DH is going to email BM tonight. This woman has made all communications into games- she makes a new email account every week, it seems, to just keep making things more difficult. I am not surprised that she did this and my bet is that the twins will have their own phones sometime this year.....yuck.
BM still does this to us, we
BM still does this to us, we haven't figured out a solution yet either. Were in a catch 22 with it right now.
If we text SD at BM's, she won't answer, sometimes while home when her mom is VERY manipulative, SD won't text BM back either.
SS texts both parents via phone while at the other home, but he is older (14).
They VERY MUCH fear the wrath of BM if they don't answer, and we kinda do too, she will send the police to the house if they don't answer her text within 60 minutes. So last summer while swimming in the pool, twice the police showed up to "wellness check" because BM didn't get a return text within 60 minutes.
Since the RO was filed she has cooled off on her constant communication and harassment of us, however she has ramped up the manipulation and abuse of SD10.
I wish I had a suggestion for you, were in the same boat, taking away the communication devise now results in SS14 being told by BM to tell SD10 to call/text repetitively.
BM is just overly controlling is all
No kidding, same
No kidding, same here!
Recently, the skids started bringing over their cell phones (they're 11 and 13) to be able to contact BM if they needed to...AND they (mainly SD11) have also abused that privilege to try to get us in trouble :/
BUT BM has stressed that we all "need to be on the same page" when it comes to disciplining the skids (she apparently has a hard time with SD11), so she just tells us to take stuff away and ground the skids. Every time SD11 has tried to get me and DH in trouble, it only backfired with her having things taken away }:)
So she can go and run to Mommy and just TRY - BM knows how manipulative she is, and she doesn't take it. Every time SD threatens to text her mom, we just say "Say HI for us!" I'm sure BM just LOVES having her free weekends interrupted 10x a day with nonsense!