Found out on a soccer tournament weekend in another state that BM is just as classy as ever. I have not had any unnecessary contact with her in the better part of a year, so there was no provocation that I'm aware of. It has been pretty quiet where I'm concerned, or so I thought. Anyway, I'm going to write this like a play.
Setting: a hotel room in Anytown, USA. DD12, SStwinB13 and I had driven there the night before, SStwinA13 went with BM the night before as he was playing for a different team, staying in a different hotel thank goodness. DH and DS5 were driving later that morning. (DS14 was with his dad that weekend.) Early morning.
DH, sounding panicky: "SStwinA has forgotten his cleats and plays at 8:30. Would you please run SStwinB's cleats to the hotel desk and BM and SStwinA will be by to pick them up? I will bring his cleats when we come up. SStwinA has been texting me about this all morning."
MJL, not realizing yet that SStwinA could have texted me about this just as easily, since I was actually in the same town: "Yes, of course."
(DD12 and SStwinB13 awake now. MJL goes to front desk with cleats and returns to the room.)
(SStwinB's phone rings.)
SStwinA, sounding panicky: "Brother, did MJL bring the cleats to the front desk?"
SStwinB: "Yes." (Hangs phone up.)
MJL, now realizing how ludicrous this all is: "Why in the world did he not just call or text me?"
SStwinB: "He's not allowed to when he's with our mom. Didn't you hear what happened?"
MJL: "No. What happened?"
SStwinB: "Our mom was ranting about you a couple weeks ago, and she called you the "c word" like seven times. I told her that she needed to stop calling you that because you're my mom too. She told us that we can't call or text you when we're with her, then she took (insert whichever things make her feel like she has some leverage) away."
(End scene. I did end up telling him at some point that morning that I needed to practice what I preach- that what someone thinks about me is none of my business and that that is HER stuff....but that I was shocked that she would say such a thing in front of her children.)
(Also, DH and I did discuss why in the world he hadn't told me this, and the answer was that he didn't want SStwinB to get thrown under the bus with this lunatic. He has now mentioned it to her and of course she lied about having said it, then dropped it.)
Bottom line, this woman is still a nut job, still a narcissist, still allowing hatred to eat her alive. I couldn't be happier that I just don't bother with her anymore. She has become as much of a "non-issue" as she can be in my mind. I am really pleased that in this lifetime I am not a narcissist. It must be a wild ride, and narcissists HAVE to know that something's not quite right- right?!