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Off topic... Need your opinions

Missmozzer's picture

So dh lost his dad when he was a kid. He had a really rough time growing up. I mean really bad! He used to have a few pics of his dad around but we have moved twice and all his pictures have somehow disappeared. He has mentioned in passing before how he doesn't really have anything of his dads. I know he feels like a huge part of his life is missing. So I had this idea. I was thinking about going to his mom and grandmother, and getting some pics of his dad and a few keepsakes and then making a little box for him to have. Just to feel like he has something to hang on to, a little piece if him. Would this be weird? Good idea or bad idea? Would love your insight. I'm a little nervous about it for some reason.

Comments

Shaman29's picture

I think this is a wonderful idea.

The nervous part is probably the emotions it will invoke when your DH sees it.

I think you're very sweet for thinking of this and I bet he will appreciate it.

StepX2's picture

Yes I agree, a great idea. Your MIL shouldn't have any problem with it since it's nothing these days to scan photos, even those "rare precious" ones!
Let us know how it went over. Smile

Missmozzer's picture

Thanks I feel more sure of myself now. Yes, I think the emotional part is what I'm nervous about. Thank you guys!

anotherstepmom's picture

This would be such a good idea! It sounds like it is something that your DH thinks about and wishes he had. My DH lost his dad when he was only 3 and he has a many pics and items that were his dad's, he feels connected to his dad this way. But of course, his bat-shit crazy mother always has to say "you don't look at all like your dad, only your brother does!" or "your dad was a democrat, can't believe you aren't!" and on and on, dumb shit!!! Pisses me off to no end. DH's uncle died a few weeks ago (his dad's last brother) and we met w/ a lot of his dad's family and they ALL said how much DH reminds them of his dad!! DH's mom is crazy. Sorry, didn't mean to turn this in to my rant. Sad

Yes, please do this for your DH, it is a really good and meaningful idea!

Missmozzer's picture

Aw! No that's ok! Lol. Dh looks like his dad minus the mullet! Lol. It's so sad that she would tell him that! Thanks for sharing, it's good to know that that's how your dh feels connected to him. (:

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

It's a wonderful idea--DH lost his dad four years ago and it caused him to spiral out of control (which caused BM to occur) and he also doesn't have that much stuff. His older brother has most of it and when he asks for them, his sister in law just says that their dads things look better at their house.

What helped was that we built a kamiza, which is sort of like a shrine (my family is tao buddhist) and we every so often (lunar new year, his father's birthday, some days when he's thinking about him or missing him especially hard) we burn incense and make an offering (usually fruit or some snacks and flowers).

It makes him "feel" like he's doing something for his dad (sometimes I'll fold paper money to burn too), especially since his father is buried too far that they'd have a two hour flight to get to the cemetery

Missmozzer's picture

I love the idea of a kamiza... We are pretty into the eastern culture. Ugh and who holds stuff hostage "because it looks better in their house"??? Crazy.