Leading up to what I wanted to ask today - Exjuliemccoy said under another blog : "It comes down to the parenting, doesn't it? Weak/helicopter parents don't produce kids that are self reliant or confident. We see A LOT of stunted kids on this site, and while divorce can be a component, the substandard parenting usually goes way back before that."
So am I wrong in thinking that when a teenager is supposedly responsible enough to get a car and drive that they can be responsible enough to remember the basics? I'm just curious how many of you have bio children and or skids that continuously try to go somewhere and forget their masks. Our state mandates we were them in all public places and we go out to eat a lot so she should be used to remembering it by now.
So after reading a lot of blogs the last few days and thinking about my situation with my DH I think I might try this: The next time he gives me a dirty look or says something to basically shut me down or to be argumentative when it comes to SD l16 I'm just going. Calmly say to him and "if she was OUR daughter would you be acting this way?" And see what he says
Or should say let the games begin!
I told DH over a month ago that when school started I wanted to add one more responsibility to SD's list. She just started 11th grade and up till now she has only had to do her own laundry (which equals one load a month 2 at the most)and help me occasionally clean up the kitchen. Well I told him I wanted her to also clean her own bathroom. Its her own private bath.
The only good news invloving steplife the last two weeks is that we aren't going away this weekend with SD16. As I predicted he waited till the last minute and she couldn't find a friend to go with us and plus its Memorial Day weekend so I am sure he thought about it and realized hotels would be too crowded. (We are doing some things here-and -there but we are trying to be safe and social distance)
Now for ALL the bad news:
You know the part that says "For better for worse" "in good times and in bad".
So I thought I had dodged the whole having to go away with SD16 this year becuase of covid and the fact that SD can never find a friend to go away with us. Nope! DH went all summer without talking about it then he tried to plan somehting the weekend before her school started but it rained and her best friend didnt even want to go with us. I secretly sighed a breath of relief and thought I was in the clear but didnt he say last night he wants to plan something for this weekend?!
So far tonight with SD being here I called out DH in front of her about giving me a hard time about not wanting to watch wheel of fortune last Wednesday. I said to her (in front of him)"yeah your father was annoyed with me last week when I didn't want to watch it but I'm sorry it's one of those shows I just don't like just like their shows you don't like and he doesn't like." Again it was no big deal to her so I wanted DH to yet again see that.
So SD16 had a long chat with DH last night after dinner. I stayed upstairs because DH wanted to talk her future plans. (He's pushing her to figure out what she wants to do for a career. Figure out college and he made it very clear she is going to need a job that pays well becuase she is not going to have a man take care of her like her BM and her best friends mom has) Somehow though it became about how BM is stressed and depressed. DH hates talking about BM so he didn't go into every detail of what SD said but I am just so pissed at her!
I found it interesting how when Scorpiomum1111 posted about not having pics of skids on FB everyone agreeded with her but I got beat up for not want to having a framed picof SD16 and DH in my home.
First - DH and I have not had it out about the BS that happened Wed night. We have danced around it and started to talk about it last night but we were out to dinner and as we started talking the entrees arrived so I said "We will conitnue this conversation later because I don't want to ruin dinner". I plan on discussing it next Wed before she gets here.