Things are a hot mess right now with FDH moving himself and FSD3 back into the former marital home. I haven't seen FSD3 in almost a whole month and I find myself missing her. I miss FDH, too, because even when I'm right next to him, he's not "there."

He's depressed. And not the cosmetic kind where you're down, but you know you'll get better. The kind where you need intervention because you're destroying your life.

He's been drinking. Too much. He's been crying. He tries to hide it, but I don't believe for one second that his eyes are that red and puffy completely from allergies. He's alienated his friends, his family -- neither party showed to help him with the move and they all avoid him at family gatherings. He doesn't seem to realize he snaps at them and projects a "Stay away from me" vibe when he's with them. He's not interested in sex anymore. He thinks he's a bad father. He can't bear to put FSD3 to bed because she keeps crying for her mother inside the house she used to share with her mother. He can't stop himself from drinking and crying in front of her.

He's a disaster. And I cannot do anything to help beyond what I've already done -- taking him to counseling. Reminding him to eat. Reminding him I love him. And NOT ALLOWING him to justify his bad behavior with "I'm depressed." Because even if he IS, he's somebody's FATHER. He *has* to sort this out or lose me, lose his house, and lose his little girl one by one.

I hope it gets better. I hope I don't have to exit just to save myself. I hope, hope, HOPE that I never need call CPS on the man I love because he's passed out drunk in front of a three-year-old who can't work the smartphone well enough to unlock it and dial 9-1-1.