Chasing My Tail
I'm new to this blog thing and still working out all of the abbreviations people use, but here I go.
I have two bonus sons, ages 14 and 5. My husband and I got married in February of this year. The youngest has some developmental delays. I'm happy to say that in the last year, he has made significant gains. We have found that if he knows that you have expectations for him, he meets them. Unfortunately, his mom has some HUGE anxiety issues, and she really holds him back. In her eyes, he is a "special needs" child, and his teachers shouldn't push him so hard. He is so much more capable than she gives him credit for.
I struggle with this. We work so hard with him on potty training, drinking from a regular glass (and not the sippy cups she still gives him, getting him into a good bedtime routine....Then we send him back to her house where he's up until midnight and never poops on the toilet because "it hurts him." So frustrating.
I love these boys, and I want them to grow into strong, independent men. I think she would be happy to have her sons live with her forever. It's kind of like we're playing tug of war, but she's the birth mom, so she always has an advantage (even though she's crazy).
Am I just chasing my tail, or is this a race I have a chance of winning?
- Mindy Mama's blog
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Comments
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you just need to keep doing what you're doing, is there anyway to talk to the bm? Maybe have your DH talk to her, email or something? Regression is not good. We go through that EVERY Sunday...it sucks. All that hard work...gone, and then it takes DAYS to get him back on OUR routine/rules and what not.
Will your SS ask for a regular glass and not a sippy? Too bad bm just doesn't toss those, seems to me that she is treating him like a baby, does he wear pull ups at her house? Thats just sad!
You do have a chance at winning- it's just going to take time and consistancy...
How about a doctor's support?
I can't imagine why any normal person wouldn't want their 5 year old to be potty trained. That is sick.
Thank you
I think I just needed a "keep it up, girl!" I do talk to him about how babies use sippy cups, and he should show his mama how good he is at drinking out of "big boy" glasses. I'll keep working on it:)
Of course you are doing the right thing
She must get some need met by keeping him a 'baby'? Don't let this stop you - encourage him all you can - it is great you are spending time with him on this!!!
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2