You are here

Haven't posted in awhile.

MidwestStepmom's picture

Last time I posted DH lost his job. Since then he found a new job that pays much more and better benefits. It's with a company he's always want to work for, I can tell he is less stress. He went from managing people to managing a process: less whiney ppl to deal with.

I too got a diff position within my company. For the last 10 years I have been a retail manager, working every holiday and dealing with customer/employees crap. If any of you are retail managers you know what I mean. Well I finally achieved what every retail person says; I got promoted to corporate! I feel less depressed, I was going through a phase where I'm 27 and all I ever will be is a retail manager; praying everyday that we hit budget and breaking my back working 12 hour days to get shit done.

Ss14 and my relationship is at its worst. I just flat out ignore him when he is here. I refuse to be in the same room with him. I don't think I will ever be able to enjoy ss, based on all the crap over the years and what he has done this past year.

BM is still a giant crazy bleep. Just this past weekend she randomly texted DH; so are you going to take ss14 basketball shoe shopping? He said no. She replied with before you say that is what CP is for you need to think again because you are a month in arrears and I could have you arrested.

There was a miss up with his new companies payroll system and they didn't deduct it from his check. He took care of it right away and even contacted the state to have them calculate the arrears to get it paid up within the next few weeks. DH had never missed a payment in 9 years, he even paid the full amount when he was getting Unemployment for 6 weeks (between the 2 jobs). I am so mad that BM spoke to him like this. He pays $1000 a month for one child. She had 4 other kids with an "unwilling to work" husband, we know that CS really go to support her entire family and not just for Ss14. He is always in nasty to small clothing when he comes over.

Anyways.... Ss14 doesn't need to be in basketball. 2 things - 1. His grades are crap, he wouldn't be eligible to play the games. He refuses to do his homework unless someone is checking every 5 min. BM never checks because she has "4 other kids to think about". So he doesn't need to be in a sport he can't participate in. 2. Last year before ss14 mood change he was in BB. BM and her husband didn't always want to take ss to practice. So why buy special shoes for someone that can't play? And why dish out extra money when $1000 already gets sent to that household a month. That should be enough to cover a pair of shoes.

I have BS19 months to worry about. He is not speaking yet. He tries to communicate in baby talk and understands us. But I may need to pay a specialist extra money to help him with that. We already pay extra to his preschool so he can participate in music class - hoping that would help.

Comments

moeilijk's picture

Don't worry about language development before age 2.

By his age he should have clear 'symbolic' language for certain things. Like, consistently using a word or gesture (or sound) to mean the same thing. But understandable language might not be developed yet at all.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

My middle child.. the one in the penguin hat if you look at my post.. she was slow to develop at crawling, walking, and talking. She barely talked before two. She's in the all day gifted program today at age 8. She was one of forty kids in the county to get accepted into the gifted school. All my other, walked at 8 and nine months old and talked early too. So really I don't think you should stress too hard.

but yes, don't guy the shoes. Totally. Don't let her intimate yall.

robin333's picture

Yay! So glad the employment situation improved for both of you.

Don't worry too much about BS being behind. He's not behind the curve at 19mos.

furkidsforme's picture

My little brother did not utter a peep until he was 2 1/2. He saw all kinds of specialists. Then one day he just busted out speaking whole paragraphs.

MidwestStepmom's picture

I hope this is the case. DS seems to understand everything we say. He points to items and will carry on (in baby language) a conversation. He know one gesture in sign language - more food.

MidwestStepmom's picture

I hope this is the case. DS seems to understand everything we say. He points to items and will carry on (in baby language) a conversation. He know one gesture in sign language - more food.

oneoffour's picture

Isn't she special. I would call that blackmail and let her know that blackmailing DH is pointless. And BTW still no shoes until his grades improve. Maybe her SAH husband could help him seeing he is 'all that'.

MidwestStepmom's picture

Blackmail is just one of the many qualities my BM can out on her resume.

Let's see:

Cheater
Welfare abuser
SSDI abuser
Liar
Trailer trash - literally - her trailer was condemned by county
Manipulator
Call police department - abuser

Hobbies include:

Try's to belittle DH whenever there is a chance
Plays the victim really well
And on her free time she enjoys PASing SS14

MidwestStepmom's picture

It's upsetting the way she rubbed it in his face, like calling him worthless because he's not paying his child support.

It was a frickin payroll system error and he will be out of arrears by the end of this month. My husband said he was kind of happy this happened, because he knows it out a huge financial stress on BMs household. No idea what BM will do in 4 years when the CS stops - that's over 50% of there income but they will still have 4 kids at home.

notarelative's picture

Re: BS19m not speaking
If you are concerned ask your pediatrician for a referral to an early intervention evaluation. Evaluations are done by the local school department (in some areas) or a hospital clinic (in others) and if services are warranted they are provided free.

My SGS started early intervention speech / language at age two with the local school department providing a therapist sent to the home. At age three he started attending a free preschool with daily speech/ language therapy.