DH landed in the emergency room a couple of days ago due to physical manifestation of anxiety. It was scary. He's home, but still not ok. We see his psychiatrist today. Mental health disorders are a real thing.
He's always struggled with anxiety, but never anything remotely like this. He's coping with age-related changes, and that's been hard for him, for us both. Then last weekend we had to have a hard discussion about the things that *I* need to cope with his changes and the things going on in my own life. I love the man, but I feel like I'm losing myself to deal with all the things he needs right now, and that's not good for either of us.
The hardest part of the discussion was visiting his kids over the holidays. I think that is the one topic I post here about the most, and we've never solved it. But I just don't have the physical or emotional capacity this year, and I know it. So I broached the topic calmly and lovingly and offered alternatives to us going to visit them. They can come here. Or we can rent an air bnb midway between us and Skidville. It can be before or after the actual holiday, I don't care--I'm just not going somewhere I'm not welcome and have to suck it up so that everybody else is happy. DH understood and said he'd talk with them about alternative plans.
And then the very next day he's in the hospital due to anxiety. I can't help but think it's related. I don't even know if he spoke with SD or SS yet -- I sort of doubt it.
The whole thing makes me so sad.