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Pain Competition

Merrigan's picture

BM had a surgery recently.  It's a few week's recovery time. SD16 told her about my sports related injury. I spent a few hours with BF and the SK's yesterday, and I was told the following by SD16.

"Mom says you're reckless. You get good at something and then you get cocky and hurt yourself."

"Mom's gonna take away your (insert sport equipment) next time you hurt yourself."

This was followed by more comments from SD16 about how I was silly for the sports stuff I do, and then followed up by "can I borrow it now that you're not using it?"

So I guess this is a pain competition?  I've met BM three times and we've both said about three words to each other.  Foot surgery sucks of course, but why does this have to turn into the Pain Olympics?  


tog redux's picture

I hope you told her to zip it, that you don't care what her mother says, and hell no she can't borrow anything from you with that attitude. What a brat. 

MissK03's picture

After her first sentence I would have said I honestly don't care about what your mother thinks about me.  

End of story. 

Normaly those are comments out of jealousy. Also, yeah no you can't use my equipment you might get "reckless" and break it. Sorry!! *NOT*

EDIT: what's the mean she's going to take it away?? 


CajunMom's picture

Tell your SD you'd appreciate she kept her negative comments from her mother to herself because you do not care. Do it every time she starts to say, BM said.... STOP.

strugglingSM's picture

Wow, sounds like BM needs to mind her own business. Your SD also sounds like a manipulative brat for saying those things. I hope your BF told his daughter she was being a jerk and needed to mind her own business and show more respect.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

There is something mentally wrong with your SD. Some if the thibgs she does and says are more like a 6-year-old than a 16-year-old. 

Merrigan's picture

SD16 was laughing when she said all this. To be honest, I didn't say anything. Literally nothing. I thought about my last big accident a couple of years ago when I (minorly) broke my back, which has kinda killed my athleticism.  I was fitness coordinator at work at the time and haven't been able to do it since.

Bitch (both of 'em), try getting hit by a car when you've been cycling for 20 years and then GET BACK ON.  They didn't even know about me then. That's not cocky or reckless.  That's life.  

(This is me and my stupid rib talking, btw. I'm cranky and angry). 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I haven't broken a rib but I did tear my pectoral musle snowboarding and it was torture.  You have all my sympathy.

ndc's picture

"Too bad you don't have critical thinking skills, SD.  If you did you'd know better than to blindly listen to and repeat what your mother has to say about me."

That's what I'd be tempted to say to SD.  I probably wouldn't - I'd just tell her I had no interest in her mother's opinions.  However, SD is old enough to know that there's nothing appropriate about saying that to you; she was just being rude and hurtful.  Her father needs to teach her some kindness and manners.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I'm genuinely interested in why you tolerate this. What is your reasoning for not putting this maladjusted teen in her place?

You should be ASSERTING yourself, both as an adult female and her father's choice of partner. Not only is passivity not working, it probably encourages her to goad you more. Some well chosen, matter of fact statements emphasizing that YOU are the adult would demonstrate you see through her little games and are done putting up with her b.s.

"It's funny that you think I care about your mother's opinions."

"Not now, Drucilla. I'm reading."

"You certainly do talk about your mother a lot, Nelly. Why do you think that is?"

"I'm not interested in X. That's something little kids are into these days, isn't it?"

Don't be so accommodating. This girl is nearly an adult, and a little embarrassment would do her a world of good. It's all power dynamics, so shut her down.



Merrigan's picture

You're absolutely right. Saying nothing made her worse. I'd walk away and she'd follow me. I ignored when she was ranting about being irritated by her dad, and when he returned she said "Merrigan and I were talking about how stupid you are."  I said I certainly wasn't, and she said I was agreeing with her by staying silent.

I need to be assertive. Because screw this - she followed me around trying to hug me when she knew I was in pain. When I said no hugs today.

Oh, and although I'm "cocky and irresponsible" on my newest set of wheels, she still wants to have them. "I guess this means I can't use Merrigan's (thing) now."