I was an annoying SD
My parents split when I was nine. They were very young (married at 20 and divorced by 30), and the catalyst for the divorce was my Dad's affair partner, who he married a year later and had one more child with. He'd had three girls with my Mom, and one with my Stepmom. I'm not close with my youngest sister (Dad's and SM's daughter) due to behaviours on all parts, mine included.
Just thinking that this could be having an impact on how I act around my SO's kids. My situation is similar to a lot of yours as he is quite the Disney Dad (literally. He even has the hat from Disney World). But so was my father, and I treated my stepmom, problematic as she was, just like a lot of the SD's do here. Trashing my bedroom, eating food I wasn't supposed to, and staying out all night at a young age. I thought I was being responsible by having an exit plan at 18 and paying rent, but it was hard on my parents. My only saving graces were the grades I had, no drugs or alcohol, (or boyfriends), and the jobs I worked to pay my own way. I left at 18, came back for a year at 21, and left within six months, and have been independent since then. It was very hard on all of my parents.
This is my dilemma with my SK's. They don't value independence. They don't understand what it is or what it means for women. They have no concept of financial independence, probably because their Dad always paid for everything and still does. My parents only tolerated the mess and dysfunction I caused for a small period of time before it was made clear that, as an adult, I needed to make my own way. I fear my SO will tolerate that behaviour forever.
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I don't think you sound like
I don't think you sound like a problematic child. You were an a-hole teen like all kids are but a step mom's dream, left for good at 18. I could tolerate the 4 skids(they live with us) if I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I am 90% sure that all 4 skids will not launch in a timely manner if they do, they will come home for an inappropriate amount of time and live off of my Disney DH. They will suck him dry and not give a crap.
As far as your step mom, what did she expect from you guys if she was the reason for the divorce? If I had an affair with DH, I wouldn't expect his kids to like me. Since I came in to their life and treated them with nothing but kindness until I lost it. My kids were nice to their dad's long time gf even though that was the woman he cheated with but she was very kid to them which meant that her and I got along. My ex passed away and her and I are still friends.
I hope your DH catches on but it is a new age of parenting and it is not jus children of dovorce with Disney parents who behave with entitlement.
Quite a story!
I was a problem too, at times. My bio father has never been in my life and my stepfather adopted me at 16. But we grew close and I was his "buddy", who he took fishing and hiking and we would go on drives together, when my mother didnt feel like doing all those things.
I think not only does he love me but he also likes me to a certain extent. He loves my half brother, but doesnt always like him, lol. And both parents love my husband immensely (my mom thinks hes very cute...lol)
I think that you acted like a troubled teenager whose father cheated and broke up the family. That would piss off anyone, but at least you were very independent. Im always harping on Munchkin SD14 that my goal for her is to be a strong, independent person able to make her way in the world. To make her own money and not depend on anyone. I make it sound fun, and emphasize the beauty of absolute freedome. She sees her mother and sister who are not free and having hardships and doesnt see their life as enviable, contrasted with her father and myself who are free and have fun and joy.
Its like with our dog. I have to make it a fun game, for him to do what I ask...lol.
Thank you. Everyone on here
Thank you. Everyone on here always portrays themselves as model stepkids who never had any issues with their parents' divorce or their stepmother. Your version sounds more realistic.
Kids don't launch at 18 today, period. A new study showed that 52% of 18-29 year old young adults still live with their parents. They all blame the economy but it seems to me that parents who tolerate it are part of the reason, as well.
My Skid Launched at 18
... I made sure of it. No WAY am I ever housing a skid again. "No good deed goes unpunished" as they say... so I'm not doing any more punishing good deeds like letting skid live here again.