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Deciphering a text from SD16

Merrigan's picture

I haven't seen either SD for some time now. SO mentioned that he didn't want to put me through any more stress, so we're spending time separately. SDs would also now prefer not to have me around. Works for me.

SD16 (almost 17) sent me this text two days ago from her father's phone, after I'd asked him if he was on his way back from an errand. It seems bitchy to me - she may have been trying to be funny, but her version of being "funny" is to insult you and laugh.

"It's SD17.  Dad is driving but he said to say yes, although the fact that he is driving and I am texting should be enough to answer the question without saying what he said to say."

I never bothered to bring it up with SO to ask if he asked her to text exactly that. He can read it on his own. I can't decide if it's an attempt at humour for her, a bit snarky, or downright rude and aggressive. It's certainly something SO would never tell her to say. 


caninelover's picture

And immature but that's who she is.  I would ignore it.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Stop trying to decipher. You know she doesn't want to see you. Your SO is keeping them away from you. Assume that it was probably meant with some amount of snark, but als chalk it up to a 16 year old thinking they're smart/clever/edgy. Not worth trying to decipher because there's nothing else to change in this dynamic.

LittleCloud9's picture

Sounds very much like typical snarky teen.

Teens feed on drama. Don't give her the satisfaction

AgedOut's picture

snarky and hopeful that she can piss you off, you'll complain to your spouse and he'll get mad at you for her "innocent" text. don't bite at her snark. 

Hesitant to try's picture

used to sometimes have his son respond to my texts when they were in the car together. It made me feel weird that he'd trust his son to carry on his half of a conversation with me. I asked him to not do that in the future. I'd rather he not respond until he can do so safely vs. having a 3rd person talk for him. And I liked my SS. If that 3rd person was someone I didn't like, or someone who didn't like me, I'd hate it even more. Maybe you can make that a "once is enough" situation??

Merrigan's picture

SO knows she and I don't text each other. She may have just grabbed his phone while he was driving - I don't know and didn't ask. I'm going to just ignore it unless it happens again. 

Mominit's picture

I actually laughed.  But I have a dry sense of humour.  My SD would have texted me the same thing and I would have taken it as the joke she intended.  But then she and I have a mutual love of dry wit.  Her saying "Hi this is SD, Dad says to say he's driving " would have struck her (as she texted it) as redundant, and then funny, and she would have continued on to say "which since I'm the one texting means he's driving, which made this whole thing pointless I suppose LOL".  I just think your SD was conveying something very clumsily. 

But if she's generally a pain, you'd know better than I.

Merrigan's picture

That's a great perspective, and one of the reasons why I posted. She can be sarcastic-mean, and sarcastic-funny, and I have a hard time distinguishing between it. I've also been away from her for some time, and the last visit was bad with the sarcastic-mean comments.  Just going to let it go.