BM Choosing the easy way out... I had a feeling this would happen.. = /
Let me start out this Blog by saying it may be a little on the long side, and I'm sure I will have a few rants with in. I just don't get what BM is thinking... and WHY she thinks that SD wont have a problem with what BM wants to do.
SO, BM had called FDH yesterday morning While she was on her way to drop SD off with me. Our exchange days are Wednesday, We had it where FDH would pick SD up when he got off work, but BM is going back to school. FDH and I talked about it, and we both agreed that BM could drop SD in the mornings on her way to school, just to make life a little easier for us.
Anyways, BM calls FDH and tells him that she almost called him the night prior because her and SD (who is 4, might I add.) Were up 'fighting' until 1245AM!!
You're kidding right? A nearly 30 year old woman Arguing with a 4 YEAR OLD?!?!
BM also said that she is at her whits end with SD, SD disrupts their (BM, her BF and their son) life when she is there. SD is always picking fights with her. And she actually asked FDH if we would be willing to have SD live with us FT and BM only wants her on the days she doesn't work, and Never over night again.
I find this VERY weird... how could someone just give up their kid like that? So she's 4, she throws tantrums, like any other kid, at her age. but the key to SD's tantrums are not to argue back. When SD gets mad because DDs don't want to play a game she wants she gets MEAN. When I hear/see the warning signs I step in and redirect. SD will, at times, get an attitude with me, and try to tell me no, or try to yell at me. When she does this, I just tell her the conversation is over and that she can sit in time out for a little bit to cool off. Only after she 'cools off' do I try to talk to her about her choices, and how everyone needs to play nice. (or whatever the case may be.)
I know that I would NEVER be able to not see my kids everyday. Nor would I ever give ANY of them to someone else to raise, and only want to see them every now and then... I don't get it.
(Sorry little rabbit trail, kinda)
FDH and I have discussed it, for the last day or so, and we have both agreed that if BM is serious (she has said this a few times in the past) we would gladly take SD full time. Go to court and do it the right way.
I'm just baffled at BM's poor parenting skills... I mean how in the Hell does a grown women get into it with a 4 year old?!
AND the cheery on top!! BM asked FDH to talk to SD about her behavior at BM's. So when he got home from work he took SD into the bedroom to talk to her. He asked her why she wasn't being good at BM's and she said that BM didn't want SD to go to her house anymore. = ( FDH asked SD where she heard that. SD's answer broke my heart, She told FDH that BM and her BF tell SD that if she is bad they will take her to the house that the bad kids live. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!
FDH reassured her that if she wasn't at her mom's she would be at home with us. and that FDH would NEVER let BM send her away. Then SD told FDH that BM was on the phone with SD's aunt and BM told her sister that SD was too much for her, and she doesn't want SD to stay with her anymore.
This just breaks my heart that BM says these things in front of SD.
FDH told SD that BM loves her and that she needs to try and be as good with BM as she is here at home. SD was tearing up during the talk and just nodded her head. FDH gave her a hug, and told her that she wasn't in trouble, and that it just makes him sad when BM calls him and tells him how bad SD is when she's at BM's house.
I just can't believe that BM is willing to give up her time with SD because she is being a four year old. Tantrums happen, it's how you deal with them that teaches kids how control their emotions a little better.
Okay, I feel a little better now. = )