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need some feed back please

mcnat's picture

SD14 who is now living with her BM wrote a letter to the judge requesting that all of DH parental rights be terminated. Our lawyer has told us (we are in texas) that even though his rights are terminated the judge can still order him to pay child support on this little monster. I was wondering if any of ya'll have been through a situation like this and could tell us if the judge has ordered you or your ex to pay child support once rights were terminated or how frequently the judge orders it

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NancyL's picture

I'm glad that she is 14 rather and 4 so it will be easier if he does have to pay.

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

I've never heard of that. I've also never heard of a judge terminating parental rights based on a 14 year old's request.

mcnat's picture

this 14 year old teamed up with her mother and decided to say that my DH molested her (3 years to the day after we got custody of them). She wrote a letter to the judge requesting his parental rights be terminated (wonder how she knew she could do that) and has told CPS that she does not wish to see him ever again and that she hates him and wants no contact. Too be quiet honest, neither does he, she almost ruined our lives.

doll faced sm's picture

Well then it shouldn't be too difficult. He can file to terminate his parental responsibilities. Let step-daddy adopt her, allow her to be emancipated, or whatever else it is she wants to do. File it under good ridance to bad rubbish.

Jsmom's picture

Wow and I thought my SD15 was horrid...That is a new one on me. I would let her do it. As for CS, if he has no rights, I thought that they couldn't collect it? The good thing is if he terminates she can never tell him he owes her for College, Cars, Weddings...

I would never say that a Dad should do this, but if he is innocent then how could he ever have a relationship with this child again, knowing the lies she told?

My SD has lied to people about our house and nothing to this extent, except that I hit her...and I won't even consider any type of relationship with her...

Siferra's picture

Wow...that's unreal. I"m so sorry you're going through that.

Something tells me that he would still have to pay CS. For example, a truly monstrous horrible person could abuse their child to get their rights terminated so that they didn't have to pay CS anymore. I'm sure the system wouldn't allow that. (i'm in NO way saying your DH did that)

Someday this child is going to wake up as an adult and realize she destroyed her relationship with one parent because of the other's manipulation. How sad.

MamaBecky's picture

What I understand is that termination of parental rights does not remove your financial obligation to support the child. The only way to not have that responsibility is for someone else to take it. For example she would have to be adopted by another man willing to take on the financial burden of being her father.

Basically your husband will just have no legal right to her medical/school records, and no right to see her. (These are standard non-custodial parent rights and this is what he would be loosing)

He will still be financially responsible for her until she is an adult. (21 in Texas I believe)

mcnat's picture

it's 18 in texas as far as support goes. i spoke with our lawyer again today and he said that in his experience usually when they are wanting rights terminated that becomes an agreement that the parent will terminate their rights but will not pay child support on that child anymore, so hopefully this will work out in our favor. DH is at the point where he just can't believe she went this far and i know one day SD14 will need something from DH and I think he's at the point where he will turn his back on her.

hismineandours's picture

Yep, i would try and settle with the bm out of court-do a termination of cs and visitation but not necessarily a termination of parental rights. Basically you and she are just agreeing that you wont see her and he wont pay cs. That way if anyone ever changes their mind it is still open. However, a new cs order would have to be filed and would go from that point forward.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

In our state, termination of parental rights can only be instigated by one PARENT against the other. (unless it's a criminal case and the STATE is pushing for it) If that parent successfully terminates the other parent's legal rights, all CS ends also. It's just like the child never existed to the parent who loses rights. You can NOT terminate your own rights just to get out of child support.

mcnat's picture

don't want to terminate rights to get out of child support. SD14 has requested it and that looks like the route CPS is wanting to take, so if they're wanting to do that then why pay child support. As for the BM she is a money grubbing whore who in my opinion put her daughter up to this so that the kids would come live with her and we would have to pay outrageous child support (she paid $260 we now have to pay $650). There will be no negotiation with her outside of court. This whole thing was about money and revenge not her love for her children, just about hurting DH.

SusiQ's picture

In Texas, I don't think you can volentarially terminate your rights if there isn't someone willing to adopt.

We went thru this with my SD, it was really hard for DH but she basically cut all ties with him when she was about 10 - the little town she lives in thinks that the stepdad is really her dad.

mcnat's picture

ok the custodial parent right now is the State Of Texas. They placed the kids back with their egg donor and she will more than likely retain custody as long as they don't catch her or her husband drinking (which they wont). CPS has told us that SD14 is wanting her parental rights terminated and has written a letter to the judge. DH WAS the custodial parent up until April when the state took them. He had no thoughts whatsoever of terminating his rights to SD14 but apparently that's the talk around town. Our thought on this is that if the little liar doesnt want him to be her father anymore then he shouldn't have to pay child support on her, help her through college (yeah right), bail her out of jail, or raise any of her children that she'll probably have before she's 18. At this point if BM gets custody, both kids are FUCKED but we can still be a positive influence with SS9 if he will quit telling everybody that he's afraid of me! (He's not, he's being coached, it's just impossible to prove). She gets $650 a month now because she has the kids but if they terminate his rights to the girl we are hoping they will also terminate his childsupport obligation for her as well. We have a child of our own together and would like to have another one in the near future. Our lawyer has told us that often times what happens is that it starts out as involunatary termination of parental rights and turns into a volunatry termination as long as an agreement can be reached that child support is terminated so that's what we're hoping for at this moment, but BM won't budge an inch if she thinks she's going to lose child support on SD so hopefully if it comes to that the state will take over