You are here

All alone

MattAC's picture

And loving it! I left a few months ago and am about to file as soon as I can find a lawyer to help me because I have no clue where to start but whoa.... and I mean WHOA!!! The difference in my outlook on life is amazing. I'm looking forward to next week for absolutely no reason and that to me says it all right there, I was praying for death daily the last few years with them. Trapped by so many things that only you other step parents, and those of you that grew up super strict religiously totally get it and that's why this site and community has been so dear to me. I haven't posted much but I read the forums all the time and knowing that other people really know the same struggles has been invaluable. Even if it's just me myself and I from here on out, it's gonna be great. I get mad once in a while about all the time and suffering that went into the last 10 years but I can't say I'd do it differently because you just can't know without committing to the end of the world. I would always have wondered, but not now, I went to the edge of my sanity and my universe and saw to reality that I can't change. I always want to try to be genuine to my own heart and believe the best about people but that means I'm gullible and I believed the lies, and I truly and deeply love my soon to be ex-wife and step kids. They don't love me, that's all. So like my profile picture says, I'm off!! My people need me and I believe that there are people out there that will accept and love me truly also. No more kids unless they're mine though, not hating on the mamas, but I did my time (or served two other mens sentances lol) and I'm busting out! 

Comments

AgedOut's picture

You can believe the best of people and still accept them at face value. Nothing wrong with that. As you heal, start enjoying the things you like to do. Make new friends, keep up with old one and you'll see that you won't be alone, people are drawn to happy, content, selfsecure people. 

step to grown children's picture

Good for you!

I'm a divorced, remarried mother of three girls. They absolutely love my husband - their step dad. 
so don't hate all the mommas out there, some of us have done a great job in raising our children and setting a good example for them to follow. 
good luck to you!!!

CLove's picture

You had the b@lls to man up for this "family" and now you have them to man up for yourself. Im still trying to grow my own lady b@lls and get my financial ducks in a row...but time will tell.

reedle2021's picture

Glad to hear you're happy!  Yes, you summed it up quite nicely when you said "they don't love me, that's all."  It is sad when you love people and they don't love you back.  I went through the same thing too, will be moving out in 5 days.  My soon to be ex husband and his son are enmeshed, co-dependent, and with me only for my paychecks.  It took me a long time to see that and to come to terms with it.  I am hoping I am even happier once I am on my own and away from the toxic environment.  I agree with you - no offense to those with children, but I will not be dating any one who has kids.  Ever. Again.  So that likely means I'll remain single.  I'm okay with it.  I would rather be happy!

Take care of yourself, enjoy yourself and keep us posted!  You are inspiring!  Smile