As you all know I have been complaining for awhile about Bm1 and her crazy. Today DH told me he was mad about a situation.
We had SS12 over the weekend.
At the beginning of the weekend BM told DH that SS is to not play any video games at our house because he did not do the dishes at Bm house. (?)
He is GREAT at doing chores at our house.So we let him play for a bit when he was at our house.
So yesterday DH and I had our third blowout this month. The reason? He keeps making decisions with me( after all sorts of time spent arguing) then turns around and does the opposite. When confronted he tells me i dictated the decision he made and circumstances changed. These decision changes always happen when BM1 makes him feel bad about not doing anything as a father.
BM2 has a bioson11(just turned 11 last week). The BMBS11 is a great kid who was brought up by my MIL as her grandson( BMBS11 is not blood related to my husband but is half brother to ss6). BM2 was drinking and doing drugs and shortly before she met my DH lost/ gave up parental rights to BMBS11. His guardians for the past decade are very well off and able to provide him with the finer things. As a result he is flourishing.
A bit of background:
Bm1 is very high conflict. She has a golden uterus complext that for the past 12 ys has been fueled by DMIL with money and gifts. Cs for SS12 has always been spent on booze for BM. IMO she has neglected, pasd and isolated SS12 his whole life.( plenty of other posts). She has told ss she wants to keep him a baby forever and has discouraged healthy growing behaviors manipulatively.
So last week I baught all of us( Dh skids and myself) some nice outfits to wear to an event. While at store I also bought Ss6 some hiking shoes( nice name brand and he loves them). I had discussed prior to this that these clothes and shoes stay at our house bc the BMs play the " clothes game". They send skids over in the nastiest clothes/shoes and expect us to launder or buy new clothes. Then those new clothes are either never seen again or given to other children in the BMs families. This game repeats every weekend.
It is ss12s time to spend his week with us. In the beginning of the weekend he forgot his prescribed medicine at Bms house.
On Sun we had to attend an important event and Dh noticed that SS hadnt gotten a haircut for quite a long time and could not see bc his hair was too long in front. I gave SS a NEEDED trim( he also wears glasses too!) at the behest of dh who wouldve shaved ss12s head.
Today(monday) i stopped by BMs with SS so he could pick up his medicine( dh at work medicine beforw noon). As SS is inside, out comes BM.
So it turns out that Disney MIL (Gma to the skids -- DH mom who he does not get along with) is making a will. It also turns out DMIL has had dementia for quite awhile(amongst other obvious but undiagnosed mental/ personality disorders).
In my house I insist that the kids and hubs wear a shirt and pants while in the house( pyjamas count as long as tops and bottoms are both worn). Unless at the pool shirts and pants are to be worn at all times. I am the only girl and I have to wear shirts and pants so should they. It is how they can show me respect.
This is a long vent.
So a feww years ago MIL decided she loved to golf.
She got herself a membership to a private golf club and became completely obsessed. As soon as SS turned 10 and was officially allowed to go she would take him with her to go golfing. She has paid for him to golf and bought him lessons and everything. They would spend Saturday mornings and whenever MIL wanted going golfing. SS was never really good at it or interested on his own(he likes basketball and wrestling).
Okay so here goes( a bit lengthy)
DH seems oblivious to SS12 manipulations. When I bring it up he makes excuses for SS12 and tells me he is a good kid.
The past few weekends and days he has been "forgetting" his bookbag(with homework) at BM house. DH gives lecture about how important homework is then does nothing but spends hundreds of dollars on the kid and lets him play videogames.
His grades are slipping. DH gives lecture but refers kid to me for privileges such as videogames.