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Mamabearof3's picture

SD FaceTimed me for the first time in awhile the other day. Just to talk for a couple hours. She's been babysitting her siblings and moms not home so she's got time to talk. I know BM isn't keen on us talking so it's probably a secret. She's going back to school today. I been kind of disengaging more but I do want to ask her her first day went. I seen someone here mention keeping a relationship but disengaging from parenting. And that's my goal for sure. I don't want to do any parenting stuff at all because it's unappreciated and stressful. When her and DH text last month we had a little spat me and her over her attitude and disrespect towards us. She then went on about how her mom can't stand me and can't hold her temper when I'm mentioned etc. I just told her I'm sorry she has to deal with that. She just said k at the time but has since started messaging and then calling again so I think she's accepting the way her mom is and hopefully coming around to the fact she can love her without acting like her.  I have a really fun gift idea for her coming sweet 16 since BL won't do the big party with everyone that SD been wanting. The last time we did a bigger gift for SD BM I told about it and asked her to keep hush with SD. Well she immediately went to SD and said your dad told me what he's getting for your birthday guess what it is and told her. So not going to try to be cordial with BM anymore. We have tried enough. Hopefully SD can come around to spending more time with us without backlash at home over it. In a couple weeks we're doing family pictures up north with her just for the day and she wants to meet my brothers new baby and hopes he and his family comes and I have a friend coming to meet us with her daughter. I wish she was more involved but this will work. We have a sweater dress my husband bought for me that's way too small that I'm giving her to wear since it matches color scheme. I didn't mention he bought it for me though just said he bought it and we're bringing it for her to wear. My DH wouldn't allow me to buy her anything else. He says I get carried away with spoiling her with gifts and I do tend to. She is quite unappreciative much of the time so I get it and mostly agree with him deep down. But yea that's what's going on with us. Hoping the coming family day goes well and we all enjoy it and have a good time. I am a couple weeks past my period being due. And it's stressing me out. I doubt I'm pregnant. I just have serious hormone dysfunction. I've even gotten positive tests when I was pregnant so no point in taking one. Hoping I'm not puffy or sick looking or anything in the pictures. Just want to feel well. Don't like the crap BM and SD has said about my weight and inflammation and stuff before. I've always been very casual and naturally pretty and that's pretty much gone now. I suck at make up and hair and my eyebrows need work. Probably going to go to a salon but man it's nerve wracking. Even when I was young pretty and fit that environment made me uncomfortable. If you guys can't tell I'm ADD as all get out lol. Sorry for the million topic changes. Hope everyone's enjoying step life at least for today. We all need breaks sometimes that's for sure. 


Findthemiddle's picture

Sounds like y'all are taking steps to build a friendly independent relationship.  Your heart is in the right place.  Sounds like BM puts a lot of pressure on the girl.  Just let it unfold like you're doing.    Btw- I find salons intimidating as well!  Lol! Hope the family visit goes well.