Money hungry ex-wife from hell!!
Hello! I am new here but I hope someone will read this and give me some much needed advice!!
My boyfriend has 2 children with 2 different women (yes, he's been married and divorced twice) now I know that may make some of you out there cringe but I am a firm believer in giving people chances and not judging them by their pasts or what other people may say. What matters to me is he treats me and my daughter great, he is very loving and attentive and his boys are a delight to be around. It's been a year and so far I am very happy with him, his boys and his family. We have a great relationship together the 2 of us and the kids.
My boyfriend pays his child support faithfully and sees BOTH his sons 2 days every week on his days off from work.
His first wife is the mother of his 11 year old son. She is remarried with a new baby and while she has her bitchy moments with my boyfriend because she expects him to drop everything anytime she asks him to (which thank god isn't very often) she is busy with her own life and really is not a problem for me at the moment. We do not talk but we have met twice and both times it was fine.
The second ex wife is the ex from hell. He met her and got engaged to her within 3 months of meeting her, they were married a year after they met and she was 6 weeks pregnant on the day of the wedding. They divorced when their son was a year old. He is now 4. This woman doesn't want to be with him anymore but doesn't want to see him happy with anyone else. She has even emailed me and offered to sit down with me and tell me just what a rotten husband my boyfriend is! I told her no thank you, I would base my opinions of him on MY experiences with him. I also told her I did not want her to contact me again.
This woman still lives with her parents, she does not have a job because she claims to be too mentally stressed and ill to work and is trying to drain my boyfriend of every asset she can whenever she can. (i.e. She decided she is going to Disneyworld with her family but wants my boyfriend to put money towards his son's plane ticket even though he is not required to.)
She neglected to tell him she hasn't been working since November of 08 and in the divorce decree it says he is only required to help her pay for child care IF she is WORKING, but since she wasn't honest and didn't tell him she was out of work child care money was still being garnished from my boyfriends wages. The minute we found out (we had to figure out on our own because she never told him and didn't plan to) my boyfriend took her to court. They will not give him the money back for all those weeks she took the child care money from him even though their son was NOT in daycare. Instead they lowered his child support by 18 dollars a week until she goes back to work and actually NEEDS child care again. So then for some reason while all of these court dates are pending over the fact that she does not have her son in daycare and is still taking money for it she goes and puts their son in a YMCA program that needs to be paid for. She then thinks she has a leg to stand on when she goes to court and says he IS in a daycare and she requested to the court that my boyfriend should still help pay for that, luckily the court said no because if she isn't working her son doesn't need to be in a daycare. (Her MOTHER is paying all her attorney fees and for this YMCA program because she has NO job!)
Now my boyfriend just asked her for her half of a copay for a doctors visit he needed while he was in my boyfriend's care and she says she doesn't have it because she isn't working!! She is in contempt of court because it is also written that each parent pay half of all doctor and pharmacy copays, but she knows my boyfriend has no lawyer and won't bother to take her to court over 15 dollars. But this is the kind of stuff we are dealing with. We live in RI. Does anyone out there have any suggestions for how to deal with this so my boyfriend stops getting screwed? Every time I offer a suggestion he shoots it down with, I don't know how bad the court system is to the fathers and how she can afford a lawyer and he can't. He also says I don't know how low his ex wife and ex mother in law will go because they've already filed a bogus restraining order on him and accused him of abuse and made him have supervised visitations at one point. Isn't there anything I can suggest that might help him and does not involve spending money we don't have on a lawyer?