You are here

Any suggestions???

Madilyn's picture

BM is avoiding communication with DH and I. The last few times DH or I have texted/called, BM does not respond. We contact her or the step-dad only if it's necessary. A text was sent to BM and step-dad both 3 days ago about an important change pertaining to the up-coming week-end DH and I have SD's. The last few times when neither BM or step-dad responded, we called once more, which we feel uncomfortable "hounding" them. BM finally had SD9 call to address the issue. DH and I do not feel it's right to put "a child" in the middle to communicate issues BM, DH or step-parents should address... any suggestions DH or I can do to help the communication gap??

Comments

stepmom2one's picture

try and get her email address. Leave all info on the text or email....thats the best you can do I think.

Madilyn's picture

We also thought of that before and have actually sent e-mails after no reply to text/calls, BM also ignores the e-mails.... Thank you so much for the suggestion though.... all we can do is try...

Madilyn's picture

If it comes to having to do that, it's sad. However, as a last resort, what choice do we have???? Thanks so much for the suggestion.... I truly appreciate-

kidsaplenty's picture

Let your dh handle the communication with her only. Leave the steps out of it. If this ever went to court you would be seen as an antagonistic interefering one and it would give just cause why she is not responding. If it is only him trying to communicate in a straightforward polite way and she will not respond it casts a whole different light (not a good one on her).

Madilyn's picture

Many times in the past BM has called ME to do "this or that" knowing DH is working and can't. In that case, should I leave all communication to DH anyway? Considering, BM calls me.... just wondering if that would be best. If it comes down to that (and I hate to go that route) Don't want to make matters worse. Thank you so much for your input, I truly appreciate all suggestions everyone has taken the time to give....

MarriedwithChild's picture

Been there!!! Doing that now!

One huge bit of legal advice:

Email her, to all known addy's...bcc yourself and whoever is involved, then print it out for records!

Good Luck!

Stepmom2Ched's picture

Yeppers...BTDT...and then the BM has the nerve to tell DH that he should've COMMUNICATED with her coz he was 20 minutes early dropping off SS6 at her house the day after Halloween. She was pissed, coz that meant she had to assume the role of mommy again. When it comes time for DH to pick up his son though, and if he's early, she's all for letting SS go early. Oh, and she expects DH to call, but what's the use when she NEVER ANSWERS HER PHONE?! She always lets it go to VM, and then when she DOES decide to call him back, it's like she never even listened to the message and asks him what he wanted. Um, HE WANTS YOU TO LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN VOICEMAIL OR ANSWER THE PHONE! (Sorry, I was shouting, but that's what I'd love to say to her!)

DH & I realized a long time ago that she just doesn't want to be around her kid, which is sad, coz he's a great kid!

Definitely when you send an Email to her or whomever, and need a 'witness', CC or even BCC that person. It'll help you out in the long run.

Well, another idea, is to physically go to the house, or even send a cop over there telling him you are worried about the SD's welfare since there has been no answer via email or texting or phone. THAT Might wake her up.

Just wondering, is there anything in the decree/parenting plan about communications? There is in DH's parenting plan for SS...although BM just totally uses it to her advantage. Perhaps something could be changed if this continues to be a problem, & you can't get ahold of her. Do you have her work ph# or the Step Dad's ph#? Just some other ideas I'm brainstorming for you.

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~

Madilyn's picture

Basically in the same boat. BM doesn't mind if we ask to take kids "anytime"

We have come to realize BM's situation: "as long as BM doesn't have to deal with them"... BM has never once said "NO"... However, here lately, when they are with BM, here's what's been going on....

BM and step-dad got SD now 9 (8yrs old at the time) her own cell ph. Ever since BM has decided to "not communicate" now all the sudden, when we call SD9 (a few times a week) to see how school, etc. is going, SD9 ph goes straight to VM, text's don't get returned either. I hate to think BM would take phone away to avoid communication with us.... we both are wondering. SO DH has called BM to talk to SD9 and SD5, BM does not answer. So wrong! No matter what, DH or I would NEVER DO THAT TO BM!!!!