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BM put SS5 in charge of potty training SS2

Madam Hedgehog's picture

SS5 just informed us that he is supposed to help SS2 in the bathroom when he needs to go potty.

I am flabbergasted.

This is just my opinion, but a five year old has no business potty training a sibling and helping them wipe themselves afterwards.

We have had trouble with BM putting SS5 in charge of SS2, but this is sort of unbelievable. What the hell is she actually doing over there?


Madam Hedgehog's picture

That's true. I think I'll ask DH to ask SS5 how he helps. But the way he phrased it make it sound like SS5 was helping instead of BM.

AliceP's picture

I did that with my kids. I had big sister take little sister in with her in the morning. BD2 respoded really well, and BD4 takes her big sister responsability seriously. I was there to help wipe and it wasn't as if I had her do it cause I didn't feel like it.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

DH just asked SS5 about it, and he said his mom tells him to go help SS2 in the bathroom. He has to help him get his pants and underwear off and get him onto the toilet, then off the toilet, and help him get his underwear and pants back on.

I think that's way to much responsibility for a 5 year old, especially if the mother is present and able.

youngmama1b1g's picture

poor kid.
We still have baby wipes in the bathroom because SS5 has trouble wiping after #2s. I couldn't imagine putting that responsibility on a 5 year old.

I'm all for the older sibling guide- esp since the older ones do take it seriously. We told SS that he had to remember to close the door when he was using the toilet or his little sister might try to pee standing up- ever since then no matter how "scared" he was of getting stuck-hes closed the bathroom door to tinkle.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Yeah, I think if SS5 was quite a bit older and if BM was overwhelmed or busy, it would be okay. But it's just the two kids, and SS5 barely got the hang of the whole bathroom thing last year and still has accidents here and there.

I just can't believe this lady is putting potty training off on a five year old when she absolutely has the ability to take care of it herself.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I'm not sure what to do. I think DH is going to send her an email about it, at which point she will reply by saying SS5 is lying or some other bullshit. I am so tired of this woman and what she is doing to these kids.

AliceP's picture

OMG I just saw your Matching outfits post too. LOL Guilty. I do have a reason though. I dress them like twins almost everyday because BD4 had all this curly blond hair and big blue eyes and a sunny disposition and we'd go out in public and people would fawn over her and then look at my littlest girl and say, "cute little boy." :/ so I dress them alike when we go out and they immediatly get the exact same attention. I tease the older skids about trying to get all 4 of them to dress alike but SD10 won't have it. For pictures I just have the older two each pick a color and BD2/SD9 will wear whatever they want in the same color and BD4/SD10 will wear whatever they want just the same color. I like to color code sue me.

ThatGirl's picture

It's perfectly normal for older siblings to help younger siblings. My sons are 2.5yrs apart and my oldest was always helping out with the baby. From feeding, to changing diapers, to potty training, to riding a bike. I see nothing wrong with that. Unless, of course, he's solely responsible for the care, instead of just helping out?

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Yeah, I like the idea of helping, too. But when DH talked to SS5, he said that BM only helps SS2 with wiping and only when he has to go #2. The rest of the time, it is completely up to SS5 to take care of SS2's bathroom issues.

Which is totally not fair. If she had something actually important to do, then I would understand, but she only has the two kids to take care of and she has a ton of money. So it's not like she's overwhelmed.

She's just lazy.

krazykate12's picture

My MIL did this. She got her 4 year old son to potty train my DH. I think it is pretty sad that someone would put that much responsibility on such a young child.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

SS5 is stressed out as it is. He doesn't need to worry about SS2's potty training tribulations. What's worse is that SS2 does not respond well to SS5 telling him what to do, so this whole situation is sort of screwing up their relationship.