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Anyone experienced this?

luwh033's picture

My boyfriends daughter keeps having breakdowns all the time. She literally cry’s about everything and part of me feels bad but another part of me feels like it’s for attention. She is upset there is another baby coming and she is upset that she has to split time between two households and her parents aren’t together. And she is upset that her dad works. And she is upset when other kids don’t give her their full attention or want to play. I understand how hard things must be but at the same time I feel like no one is teaching her how to cope with her feelings and be strong and get through them. I feel like she just keeps breaking down every other day about something. When I was a kid I was in the same situation except I barely saw my father. I wished I got to see him more or that he wanted to see me more but I didn’t. But I was very strong and independent and I didn’t break down like this. She gets everything she wants and more. She has soooo many people that love her and spoil her and yet it’s never enough. I feel like she just wants her dad all to herself all the time. Everytime she is suppose to go back to her moms she freaks out. So I’m not sure if she just doesn’t want to be there or if she is just upset that she can’t be here with him all the time. She said she wants to be in one place. And we went from being pretty close to her constantly bringing up her mom and talking about her mom and dad to the point it got inappropriate and uncomfortable to her being kind of mean towards me and catty to where even her dad started to notice and say something to now us just not having the same relationship we did at the beginning and feeling kind of like an outsider when she is around. I feel like she blames me or puts her frustration towards me because we are having a baby and it is probably sinking in that her parents will not ever be together again. She said she was upset about having a new baby because it will get all of the attention. It kind of made me feel uneasy and how she’s been acting towards me and when the baby is brought up makes me feel uneasy but I am trying to keep an open mind and take things slow and hoping eventually things will get better and she will come around. It’s just difficult, being 6 months pregnant I’ve really had to sort of distance myself so that I do not become stressed. It’s a lot to handle and have to be around and I don’t want the baby being affected by that energy. Anyone else been through this?

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

This is extremely common but it is also the result of poor or no parenting.  Children are inherently selfish it is up to adults to guide and train them so that they do not become self-absorbed.

Things will definitely not get better until her father or BM set her straight.  Usually they won't but remember it is not up to you to be this child's parent; she already has parents that should be guiding, training, disciplining and setting boundaries for her.

Focus on you and baby to come; it may be necessary to disengage from SD.  Definitely her parents should set her straight that Dad has to work for a living to provide housing electricity Etc and that the world does not revolve around her.