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Letter to the bio parents

Ltutsch's picture

Letter to the biological father and mother. 


I’m sorry. But she’s just not my kid. 

Everything she does reminds me that we do not share the same DNA and my “attitude” is not rubbing off on her. 

I can’t say I didn’t try. I tried from the age of 6 thru 11. The influencial ages were already taken and unfortunately was ingrained the attitude that I have no control over. 

So I must step back now. Step back from the discipline and the homework. Step back from the chores and lack thereof. I’m taking a step back to remind myself, and you, that she is not my responsibility. How she turns out isn’t up to me. It was up to you both. And those 6 influencial years when she got to do whatever she wanted. 

Good luck. 

And I’m sorry I just can’t anymore.



The Step-mother 


ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Dear Psycho, (so personalized :D)

You suck.  We all know you're still on drugs.  You don't care about the skids, when you take them, you immeadiately ditch them.  And you cause them to get sick when you DO have them.

The only positive things we hear about their time with you, is that you leave them alone, or that druggie will occasionally spend time with them and let them play his game systems.

It's honestly a miracle the new baby is even alive still considering how sick the kids will come back and how ill fitting all their clothing are.

At this point, idgaf.  Either step it up and be an actual parent, or fork off and leave them and us alone.

No one is keeping the skids from you.  So stop broadcasting it.  You abandoned them for over a year, and weeks to months at a time prior, you're the one that ditches them with family, you're the one that can't be bothered.  It's no one's fault but you're own.

Since you came back, we've noticed a spike in poor behavior from the skids, particuarly right after a visitiation.  You're upsetting their lives with your lack of ability to actually adult.

We know you only come and get them because GBM is literally bribing you by paying all your bills as long as you get them for visits.  But we also know you're hardly there when you do take them.

Having to deal with you makes me want to break your nose.  The only thing holding me back is knowing I'd end up in jail and the skids would end up with you. And you're not worth that.



justmakingthebest's picture

Dearest Cu**,

You are so sick and twisted and have absolutely ruined your son. Your lies and manipulation have served you so well for so long but what you don't understand is that behavior has been passed right on down to your crotch goblins. I know that you have no outside fulfillment in your sad life and don't even like to have sex with your boyfriend (you should really watch what you put on the internet). However the rest of the world has to deal with these little monsters that you have created -Their entitlement, their callousness and their disregard for anyone but themselves. I hope you are proud- actually I am sure you are. I am sure that the 3 of you will be all snuggled up together in your government subsidized house, living on disability and food stamps with faces looking like you have been sucking on lemons. 

Have fun with that.


"The NEW wife"


*** That was kind of fun!

CLove's picture

Yes, you are a bio-parent, but not a really good one. Its no accident that your eldest is certifiably crazy and mean and selfish.

Yes, you have a  nice younger one, but she is starting to exhibit your same traits of selfishness, laziness, and I am starting to not enjoy her company at all.

Yes, I will continue to do, but will step back gradually, as the "step aside", I am never included in any decisions, even ones that affect me, and I am tired of being considered "useful" as long as I pay the bills.

Yes, I love you, DH, but am just really not cut out for being a step parent that must always step aside. I resent not being included in decisions that affect me, I resent having to jump through hoops for GUHCBM, I resent that this GUHCBM is called mommy, even after all the abuse she doled out over the years and continues with.

Yes, your child is always going to be your child and I am disposable, and I resent this I think most of all.

Doublehelix's picture

Aww, that last line...I get it...BUT, I'd like to remind you not to take yourself for have value, and if your hubby doesn't see that, HE is the disposable one.

thinkthrice's picture

Due to despising Chef more than you love your children, your exceeding laziness, not to mention your unending avaricious grasping as well as your princess attitude and putting on airs,  please be prepared for your children's inevitable failure in life which they are already displaying despite your best efforts to hide it.  All three have become a complete model of yourself.  Enjoy.


A REAL single parent.with successful adult children

ESMOD's picture

To the Bio Parents

DH, Thank you for not second guessing me.  Thank you for letting me help you steer your girls in a positive direction.  Thank you for not demanding anything.

BM,  I never wanted to BE you.. or REPLACE you.  But, I wish your ego could have gotten out of the way so that you could have understood that I wanted nothing but the best outcome for your girls.  Because the more independent and successful they turned out to be.. the less I would have to worry about a financial, emotional and physical drain on my household.  The happier my husband would be that his girls were thriving.  The greater chance that if they were happy in their lives.. that they would have a positive relationship with me.  You tried to tell me they were none of my business.. but they were.. because they belonged to my husband as well as you.  You didn't Own them.. though you liked to wear them like an accessory.. and it was quite obvious when you would switch out your favorite when one of them went through and awkward phase.  The girls noticed too.  That's why for all your PAS attempts, they saw through so much of your BS.  That's why they still call their father on a frequent basis.. and even I get calls and texts from them to share bits and pieces of their lives and to ask advice.  So, just like a parent has the capacity to care for more than one child, your kids had that same capacity to care about more than one parent... In the end, I think you are the one that lost the most by your own actions.

Doublehelix's picture

Dear Baboon,

Thanks for being a self-absorbed, babbling betch. Your little chimpanzee is just like you.

Dear FH,

Let's be real, you have baggage. No matter how you try to make it sound so easy, that everything is under control, you brought a lot of baggage into this relationship. But, I think you are starting to understand she is not my child, I have no obligations to her, and catering to that baboon you married "for your child" is just going to make things worse for us. Together, we'll find space to store the baggage as long as you acknowledge it's there. Otherwise I'm chucking everything out the window.  


Me  Smile

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Mine would be something like this:

Dear Yeti,

Back the f*#$ off.  You have already ruined your oldest daughter's relationship with her father.  She will never be able to get that back.  Stop screwing with SD13.  She is starting to resent you.  Are you so desperate to make my DH miserable that you will destroy your own daughter?  

Also, I hope you act on your threat to request all the information from your false abuse allegations. They were unfounded anyways.  Maybe you'll see the video footage of my house and learn what a liveable house looks like.



P.S. If you ever make allegations against my innocent DD again, your going to lose your remaining 5 teeth!

CloudCuckooLand's picture

Dear C¥>}apotamus

I’m sure you tell yourself, and the skids, that I was ‘mean’ to them. The truth is that I was completely overwhelmed by the Mommy shaped hole that was apparent in SD and how quickly she tried to consume me in an effort to fill it. Three days in, after meeting her for the first time, I knew that if I engaged, even a little, that she would want to live with us full time and look to me to heal the wound you left in her. I also knew she would bring all of the ways that you knew how to be in the world, to be controlling, critical and demanding. I knew that I would get lost in the dysfunction created by you and DH and so I decided I did not want to be an option or outlet for her unmet needs. DH didn’t help, he was overwhelmed and stuck his head in the sand and the result for SD was that I looked like a possible option for your child to get her needs met. It’s easy to make me a scapegoat and to PAS DH, but the reality is that if I had decided to be a parent to your daughter, she would have picked me over Both of you. Whatever relationship you both still have with her is if your own making, not because I disengaged, but because I chose not to engage. I chose to have boundaries and put parenting back on the both of you.

f you all

ITB2012's picture

Just got to this one. Here's my letter.

Dear Bioparents:

I was willing to become another valued adult in your children's lives. But due to all your insecurities, you never allowed that to happen. How you ask?

BM, it was obvious from the start when you had them finally begin to call you mom (until then they had called you by your first name), sent tons of cookies and treats just for your kids to this house, tried to send things to decorate their rooms, when you even decorated Easter eggs with them ahead of the holiday they were spending with us and attempted to give them all to us, when you complained about a trip we took that you had called "dibs" on that trip so that we almost cancelled, when you allowed your kids to do things or make decisions with you for this household, and when your children replied to me in words that could only have come from your mouth.

DH, it has been obvious all along that you expected me to be you, to fawn over them and baby them, and you were terrified of anything I did or said that might cause your children to even be slightly uncomfortable. You prevented me from bonding with your children by hovering over me when I talked to them and re-stating everything I said ("what ITB really meant was..."), by not giving me any authority, by not telling me what was going on in their lives, by not including me in decisions about events that affected me, by worrying more about what BM thinks than what I think and expecting me to worry about her too, by assuming I would want to be the skids servant and conceirge, by siding with them even when all the evidence pointed to them being in the wrong, by going back on your word when we agreed to things, by blaming me for things going wrong with the skids, and by catering to your first family to the detriment of the entirety of your second family.

Why did I stay this long? Because it was really hard for my DS to make this big change. He gave up his house, his school, and his friends. I didn't want to make another big change for him again since he came to really like his new school, made some great friends, and has truly enjoyed having brothers. (Remember, your children gave up nothing. No house, no friends, no bedrooms, no schools, and they already had each other.)