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In Tears Right Now!!!!

lpollard8985's picture

:? The Ex-wife just came and checked him out of school. I called my husband to see what was going on and he told me, " I was busy at didn't get a chance to call." I'm so tired of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sitting at my desk in tears right now. I don't know what else to do. :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:


lpollard8985's picture

The same reason she came to get him yesterday..... She wanted to see him and my husband told her it was alright. He didn't have time to let me know what was going on, but he had time to tell her she could get him. What happened to following the CO???????? I'm confused. I just texted him. I'm sure he's probably furious now, but he doesn't take into account how I feel. He just texted me back and said that I am taking things out of context. HELP!!!

stormabruin's picture

If he's supposed to be with your DH for the summer, that's where he needs to be. BM will get used to having the freedom to take him as she pleases. If she does it often, it could be enough to have the court order changed in her favor. If your DH isn't taking advantage of his ordered time with his child, BM can ask them to take it away.

There is an order for a reason, & they need to follow it.

When his "stomach was hurting" she should've brought him back to your DH so that he could be the parent on his time. The child having aches & pains or being sick doesn't automatically put him in the mothers care. That sends the idea to the child that daddy isn't capable or doesn't know how to care for him. Only mommy does. BAD move on your DH's part.

Willow2010's picture

I don’t know the back story, but why would it put you in tears for BM to pick up the kid? Because it is not her time? Because your DH did not tell you? Or clear it through you?

I guess I am just a little confused. I would be the opposite. If BM picked SS up on our day, I would be doing the happy snoopy dance. Lol.

FallingfromGrace's picture

I assume YOU went to pick up SS and he wasnt there....

Basically you wasted your time and he knew all along but did not make time to tell you not to go becasue BM was going also the fact that he didnt discuss with you prior and is not following the CO...I would be ticked too!

Willow2010's picture

Oh, I thought she worked where SS goes to school and was there when BM picked him up....?

MamaBecky's picture

The OP is upset because it is there time to have the child and BM keeps coming up with excuses to keep him away. Yesterday it was a tummy ache so she didnt want to bring him he was suppose to go to dads after summer school and before he could BM picked him up and took him back to her house...and OP's DH is to much of a wimp to confront his ex and demand his time. OP is an involved SM who loves the child and actually wants him around.

OP you really need to do as we discussed in that other thread and put your foot down. Hard. It is the only way your DH will fix all of this. Good luck!

MamaBecky's picture

I hate these canned responses. Not everyone is disengaged. Not everyone isn't a co-parent. Not everyone is just dads wife and nothing else.

stormabruin's picture

From the OP's remarks in the other blog she posted, I was getting the feeling that her feelings are being hurt because her DH seems to be able to make all kinds of time to make arrangements with BM to check the kid out of school, but can't seem to find a moment to call OP to just make her aware of what's happening.

I felt like she was feeling left out or left behind, insignificant, second place...or third.

I can understand. She works at the school the kid is attending & is still blind-sided when BM shows up to pick him up because her DH can't give her heads-up.

I agree that for someone who does honestly love their steps & is involved & truly interested in what happens with them, to suggest disengaging or to expect them to adopt the "not my kid, not my problem" mentality isn't a realistic solution. That is comparable to telling those SM's who want nothing to do with their steps...can't stand the sight of their faces or get ill at the mention of their names, to simply smile & welcome them with open arms, embrace them & let the love flow.

To me, it sounds like DH is giving his ex's feelings more priority by not wanting to upset her or tell her no. Even if he isn't going to be responsible enough to take advantage of his time with his child, he still owes his wife the courtesy of a simple "heads-up" that she deserves.