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No More Stepdaughter

love for animals's picture

I'm going to start with my step daughter who is now 22 years old with a 6 year old of her own. 

For the first year after we met we were friends. After that year is when everything changed. She would look at me and see the person who is taking her time away from her dad. I totally understood, so I tried to make sure she was happy and had lots of time with her dad. Her dad and I got married 4 years after we met. We moved out of state right away so he could start his better job to make money so we can try to get all 3 of his kids to live with us, their mom is an addict and cant hold a job very well for very long.

That next summer they all came to visit us, it was kind of rocky with my step daughter because she was in her pre-teens and had an attitude. Even though her dad explained to her on why he moved away, she still resented me for it so as a pre-teen with attitude she made listening to me very hard. This was her only summer coming to visit, after that she got a job, got pregnant at 14. All of us didn't talk much for a couple years. But when her child turned 2 it all turned around and we all got along great and talked all the time. 

The beginning of summer of 2017 her dad and I drove to where she was living and moved her and her child back to live with us. We were all excited about getting to know each other even better and knowing our grandchild! For the first 3 months it was great, we talked, laughed, I babysat her child while she worked. She only had 1 rule while living in my house which was sweep the floor once a week and make sure her child's things are picked up at night (we have dogs). After this rule wasn't being followed  for sometime I would say something to her which in return she would say something to her dad in regards of this wasn't her house, i I wanted something clean I should do it, well her dad would tell her the same thing I was. This went on for at least for the next 3 months of all of us going back an fourth. By Thanksgiving and Christmas came around she was staying right across the street every weekend at her friends house who her kids went to school with my step daughters kid. 

With her going to her dad every time I would ask her to do her chore it made me very upset because I was getting walked on and disrespected. So step daughter and I got in a huge argument which in the end I told her she needed to move out. Her response to me was "I will only move out when my dad tells me to." Which he was going to because he knew she didn't have any money and nowhere to go. 

3 months later which is now March, there has been very little communication between not only myself and step daughter but dad and daughter. My husband was at work one day while I was out with my brother, by the time I got back home step daughter was all packed and moving her stuff across the street to live. She didn't tell anyone she was moving, she just did it. For the next 2 months until school ended I would see my step grandchild playing on her bike right out front while I would be checking the mail or getting home or leaving, I would tell her hello, and or give her a hug. Step daughter would see it, didn't say a word to me. Next thing I new my husband would be telling me he got a message from her telling him to tell me to stop talking her her daughter.

Once school ended she moved back to where she was living before husband and I picked them up. We haven't heard from them at all. She blocked us from her life in all aspects.

Comments

GoingWicked's picture

Hate to say it, but it sounds like one of those incidences where the trash itself out.  I’d be celebrating.  Good riddance.

love for animals's picture

I think I might have worded or not wrote was I was trying to say very well. 

Before dad and I moved out of state, dad was in collage working at a pizza place not making a lot of money. Bio mom had jobs but not for very long at a time. bio mom knew how to look good for the courts.  But Dad and I still felt like the kids would be better off in our care so we knew we had to move to this other state for this better job to make that happen. 

Once we learned that bio mom was using drugs and alcohol again and being abusive we got a lawyer right away. It took 2 years going back and fourth to court hearings, counseling, home inspections before we did get custody of them. By that time step daughter already had her kid and was living with a family friend and going to a better school and had a job so we let her stay with our family friend. That's why she didn't come to live with us. The oldest boy did, the younger one did not, he had to stay because he himself got in trouble with the law and wasn't able to leave the state.  But that hasn't stopped us from still trying to get him to this day. 

Step daughter was 21 when she came to live with us. We never rescued her from the place she was living,(she wasnt living with bio mom, she was in another state from all parents), like I said before we were all getting along for the past 5 years so she asked to live with us and we agreed. We didn't kick her out because she wasn't cleaning, it was her attitude towards her dad and myself. She was ungrateful, expected everything to drop at her feet, and was very rude. 

Like I said before we DID get custody of them but there were a lot of circumstances that happened along the way.

I'm not trying to make excuses, I do realize dad and I could have done different things better but we always tried to be there or call. We love the kids very much!

love for animals's picture

Funny fact: When stepdaughter and granddaughter were still living here and we were having trouble with the whole cleaning situation, I wrote on the big white board for the entire house to see, since everyone was on a different schedule CLEANING IS NOW ON SUNDAYS, best day to clean...

Not important how I found this out but there was a text between stepdaughter and the neighbor she stayed with...

SD-Whiteboard says cleaning now on Sundays.

Neighbor-Tell that dumb *** clean her own house on Sunday. Stupid *****, wonder WHO ELSE will clean besides U and child.

SD-Fr (for real) like that's some ****ing bull****

When I saw this I laughed my head off because this is point blank the kind of person my SD is, a person that lies to her friends making everyone else look bad and her looking like an angle...

Another funny but sad fact: SD and child are living with grandparents right now, she's acting the same way there as she did here, not paying for anything, not cleaning, doesn't have a car still, grandma gets up with the child for the school bus...