I made dh and his kids leave, now what?
Please excuse my typos as i am typing from my phone. I guess I'll start from the beginning. Dh and I met after his divorce. I was not the other woman in anyway but dh still went over and did family activities and holidays with them. I put my foot down and walked away letting him know I left because I didn't want to stop them from being a family but for me personally, there wasn't room for a relationship when he was still married to his family. He chose on his own to back away and stop being a family with bm and he started being a family with just his kids.
His kids, he has 4. They are 2 boys, 11 and 7 and 2 girls 8 and 9. I won't say they weren't planned because dh knows how kids are made but he expresses suprise that each kid was conceived while bm was on the pill. Not that it matters now. Anyway, dh and I met 2 yrs ago and got married last year. We bought a 3 bedroom house and put all his kids in 1 room. We put 2 sets of bunks in there since we only had them 4 days a month. The other room was to be a nursery for our twins.
2 weeks before my due date, dh goes to drop his kids off with bm and she wasn't home. She didn't show back up either. We found out the next day she was on a cruise with her boyfriend for the whole week. Dh had to go buy clothes and school supplies for his kids because school started that Monday and they had nothing. I was so stressed out I went into labor and because no one was available to get his kids dh missed the birth of our sons. He was getting them from school.
I'm still pissed about that. He brought his kids to the hospital and left them in the lobby to come see me and our sons but the nurse made him bring the kids in. They touched my sons faces and were rough with them making them cry. His dd snapped her fingers in my babys face!! I wad livid and made dh take them out. He only got to see us when they were in school and then my mom got back into town and watched them in thr lobby. My oldest son had some medical issues so we were in the hospital 5 days.
When we got home, dh had left the kids with a teenager babysitter because he still couldn't find bm, the house was destroyed and smelt like burnt food. This was not the enviornment I wanted to bring my miracles home to. I took them straight to the nursery to calm down and relax in private but my beautiful nursey was gone. The walls were still painted but dh had taken all the baby furniture out and replaced it with his boys bunks and a dresser. My sons had to share 2 dresser drawers!! I was devestated and beyong angry. He put everything in the garage. When I asked him what the hell, he said cps had come by thr day before and said that boys and girls his kids age can not share a room and that 4 kids in a room is 1 to many. I told him they don't live here!! I was the stupid one though, dh didn't want to stress me so he just didn't tell me bm left town to follow her boyfriend to his new job. She just dumped her kids and ran.
I did my best to be a good wife and mother but it was to crowded and our home was sufficating me. I finally told him to leave in November. His kids had ruined my birth and when I came home to them I went into a tailspin. I didn't have post baby depression it was just to much and I didn't sign up for that. So dh and I have been apart 2 months but we spent most of December together. We didn't get to spend Christmas together because dh refused to get a sitter for his kids and I didn't want them invading my home again.It was tramatizing and I am still healing. January is different though. He isn't coming around as much saying he doesn't want to pay a sitter on top of chilf support to me and bm. Yes, he says he is paying bm child support even tbough they live with him. It deduces my child support but I can afford my kids although it does piss me off. I guess I am looking for advice on what to do. It may not seem like much but dh is the best thing to ever happen to me and I love him with all my heart. I need to find a way to make this work.