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logiebug13's picture

So just as i suspected BIObitch saw SD8's new haircut and flipped out. actually threatened court action! is she effing kidding? what judge in their right mind is going to entertain that shit??? Poor kids haircut is so cute and she loves it but her mother has made her feel embarassed. This woman is working towards a court ordered psych eval! I feel so bad for SD. She has no self esteem as it is and being able to pick out her own haircut gave her the boost she needed.. of course until her BM decided to give her hell about it.

Why do ppl do this shit to their kids? we didnt have it colored blue or shaved into a mowhawk. SD was so proud and will probably now cry her eyes out until it grows out into that moppy rapunzel looking mess her mom approves of.


mom2five's picture

Hmmmmm. Are y'all custodial? If not, did you talk with BM before you took SD8 for her haircut? As a BM, I would be livid if my ex or his wife had taken my daughter for a haircut at that age without talking to me first. And when we were non-custodial, I would never have changed the style of my stepdaughter's hair without talking with her mom first.

It's not unusual to have that put in a court order. I've seen it worded..."non-custodial parent shall make no changes to the child's appearance without the consent of the custodial parent...".

If y'all are custodial, then that's totally different.

Rags's picture

x Dup

Rags's picture

When it comes to hair and other non permanent changes I think that when it is the NCPs time the NCP can make those decisions without notifying the CP. The CP does not have to call the CP when the kid needs a haircut during CP time.

As far as hair, what goes for the CP goes for the NCP IMHO.

Now, if we are talking piercing their ears or getting a tat ...... nope. NCP and CP should have to confer on that.

IMHO of course.

Best regards.

logiebug13's picture

it is shared custody. and there is an agreement to rotate the haircuts since BM doesnt want to use her support payments to take care of the child... but to feed her extravagant life style. She got about 1/2 inch cut off more than usual.. we wouldnt let her get exactly what she wanted because she wanted it short and we knew BM would be upset.

BM is just overly controlling and tries to micromanage what we do when she is here. bottom line, SD LOVED her haircut. and it was very little in difference from what her BM gets done.

And i can tell you personally AND professionally, there is no judge where we live that will entertain this unless her appearance is poor which it is definately NOT. she is the cleanest best dressed kid i know.

Rags's picture

" there is an agreement to rotate the haircuts ". It is in the CO so why is BM opening her ignorant trap?

This is one of those situation where if I was you DH I would tell BM to "shut the hell up and crawl back under your rock".

Do NOT let BM draw you, DH or the Skid in to her manipulative controlling drama.

DH just needs to tell BM "what happens during MY time with MY child is none of YOUR business and you don't get an opinion!"

IMHO of course.

Best regards.

logiebug13's picture

Bottom line is if she had a problem with the cut she should have said please dont do that again to us.. not deliberately embarassed her 8 year old child and made her feel like shit. she will now wait 4 weeks for it to grow back with low self asteem because of her mothers psychosis

logiebug13's picture

we have told her over and over again taht we love her hair and new cut.. we really do. it looks amazing on her. it is just shorter than her mom wants it. her mom has a horrible blonde mess for hair so she tries to live vicariously through SD.

logiebug13's picture

she even has gone as far as getting the exact same hair cut. matches her color job to SD natural color and curls her hair everyday so it matches SD natural curls. REDICULOUS!

Addy2772's picture

Girl ignore her and tell sd that she looks bueatiful that her bm hates it because it came from you. I had the same thing happen but we ignored her and my sd told her mom that she loved and the only reason she hated it was because i took her for the cut.

ignoring her bad comments lets her now she is not in control or part of what happens with ur bf or skids.

StayorGo's picture

Whats with all these BM that just must have their daughters hair long??! Good night, if the childs hair looks like a rat sleeps in it most of the time, and is stringing down in her face...would a grown woman have that mop on her head? Ummm No she wouldnt. But just because its the daughter... oh glory be we just cant cut that hot mess or all the heavens will rain down upon us.

logiebug, BM doesnt give a fat rats arse about that babys hair... she is just being a nasty tw@t about it.

I bet if you dressed SD up and had her pics done with her new hairdo she would be in heaven. Stupid BM just doing nothing but blowing your SD self esteem straight to hell!

What a douche!

StayorGo's picture

You are telling nothing but the truth!! Sometimes I just have this urge to have some cordless clippers and do a run by trim right up the middle of BM big puffy ronald mcdonald do!

StayorGo's picture

Yeah model material I am not... but I can match clothes that FIT my body type and hair styles for modern times. BM must have a thing for the little house of the prairie, homely as hell..cowboy shirts and ropers when she has never had her big self on a horse in her life... and jeans that are 3 sizes toooooo small, with mushroom cap rolls pouring over the waist! Lord help... those jeans are screaming for mercy and not to mention her internal organs!

logiebug13's picture

Lol thanks everyone! this website is great and it is good to know im not the only one dealing with this shit!

the phot idea is great! im gonna set up an appt right away!

violetforest's picture

these are the issues that hit close to home. Issues such as haircuts and attending field trips and doing valentine cards with the kids are all issues that don't get covered in the court orders. But these are the things that create bonds between parent and child.

I hate when people say that divorce is the easy way out, its not because there are things like cutting my little girls hair for the first time that I will never be a part of. The judge in our case did make a determination on placement and the mohawk haircut that my ex gave my youngest child, his first hair cut right before my wedding was a deciding factor.

logiebug13's picture

i didnt cut her hair, her dad took her .. biological dad with equal decision making and an agreement that he would take her every other month.

logiebug13's picture

and i agree with you on some level @violetforest... but this was not by any means her first haircut. she is 8 and has been getting monthly haircuts since she was 2.

i this case BM asked him to start taking her every other month because she didnt want to pay for it (guess she figured it wasnt part of the child support) he has equal decision making by court order and equal parenting time and has completely equal rights as the bio dad.

he got her haircut 1 and ahlf inches shorter than it was and it started from halfway down her back...

this truly has gotten out of hand over something completely stupid.

yes it sucks to miss out on certain things, but that has to be taken into consideration when parents parent kids while unmarried or when parents divorce. Not by any means should that poor kid be punished and made to feel guilty over her haircut because her mother cannot understand that she simply wont be there for EVERY SINGLE thing in her daughters life.

Jsmom's picture

I did take SD14 to get highlights. Her dad said she could have them for good grades. I asked her if her mom was okay with it. She said it was. It was over $150.00 dollars. Dad freaked at the price, but he never made the promise again. As for me, the only reason I got invoved was because he asked me to. Not like he had a clue what to do. She wanted really blonde ones on a brunette. I said no and made sure it was tastefully done.

Other than that, I don't feel it is my place to be involved in their hair. Now SS12 needs a haircut drastically and we keep teasing him about it. My hope is that his BM will get it before school starts next week. We will see. If not, hopefully DH will get it done.

If your husband did the haircut, tough on her. Get over it, it is hair, it grows back.

mom2five's picture

That's kind of I am Jsmom. We are custodial. My (step)daughter wanted to get her ears pierced. I sent her mom a text first and asked how she felt about it. With haircuts, I don't worry as much. But again, we are custodial. And if I was going to allow the kids to make a major change to their style, I would definitely ask mom's opinion.

It's funny...a lot of stepmom's desperately want BM to at least respect them as stepmom. But I think we have to ask ourselves what we are doing to encourage that respect.

logiebug13's picture

I had NOTHING to do with the cut other than telling her that her mom liked it longer! Amazing im the asshole for actually sticking up for her mom! I was there but i dont make that DH allowed SD to make the decision as he is joint custodial with equal decision making.

bottom line, her BM is on her own. SHe can explain to her daughter why she cant ever choose her haircut again.

DH will never take her again, he is happily giving away the responsibility of the haircut - eventhough BM is the one who told him he needed to take her.

and in my state, Unless we shaved the kids head bald, no judge would ever entertain this shit. Even her atty refused to entertain the complaint.

NCMilGal's picture

SD14 wants to grow her hair long, but BM forces her to get it cut to just below her shoulders. I mean, she literally drags her into the car and takes her. We're not talking about a 5yo or even a 10yo, the girl is 14, and has been taking care of it herself just fine. SD14 also wants to dye is a darker brown (not black) and BM says no way, blonde highlights only.

As far as I'm concerned, she could dye her hair hot pink or Smurf blue if she wants; it's just hair, and it grows out. But I won't go against BM's wishes, even though SD14 doesn't want anything crazy. If we had her for longer than a couple weeks at a time, I'd let her put in temporary color, but I haven't seen anything that wasn't "cover the gray" so we struck out there.

We told SD14 that if she was really unhappy about it, she needs to start standing up for herself about the little stuff to her mom, otherwise she's going to be forced into a hot pink ballgown for her next school dance...

Rags's picture


Smurf blue... now that is a HOT hair color.

Smurfette was such a hottie when I was young enough to watch her rule the Smurf rooste. Wink