Space Problem: New Baby
I am a long time lurker and have have managed to navigate my step situation by reading posts. Now I have a situation and I can't find any blogs which are similar. So I have come out of hiding to ask for your help and wisdom. Thank you in advance if you comment.
I have been married to my DH for 4 years and have been in the lives of his sons for 5. They are 11 and 9. DH has full custody of the kids and they visit their biomom every second weekend plus every Thursday. She lost custody of the boys when they divorced due to drugs but has since managed to clean up her life. Biomom is remarried and has two additional children. She is tolerable when on a leash.
The boys are reasonably good kids and we have few issues with them.
The problem now is my DH. I am pregnant with our first child together (my first) and we are having arguments over space. We live in a three bedroom house which is mine. DH and his kids moved into my home. DH and I have the master bedroom and the boys each have a room.
With the baby on the way, DH wants us to get a bigger house so all the kids can have a room. Problem is HE can't afford it. It will mean I have to fork out additional money for a bigger house and the new baby.
I told him the boys can double up. The one bedroom is big enough for them to share and the second bedroom can be a nursery for the new baby. DH is against this. Where exactly must I put this child?
BM has also hit the roof because her precious boys need to share a room. She said no. (Not that she had a say in my home, but it is causing DH to dig his heels in and push for a bigger house.) Now she lives in a two bedroom with a basement - her two latest kids share and when the boys are with her they sleep in the converted basement.
These boys have their own room in my house because I did not have a kid. Now my baby is apparently disrupting everyone's lives because my two stepsons need to share?
Is this unfair? Expecting the boys to double up? It's my house- why should my (on the way) kid be treated like a second class citizen? DH can't afford a bigger house and I am not paying to get one so his precious little CODs aren't inconvenienced. He says he is right because his boys are used to the current set up- we need to move.
What to do here?