Herrrre we go!
DH has seen his children very minimally since their summer vacation started (June 2nd). He works 60+ hours a week at a commission only job to make ends meets, so it’s hard for him to just take off. On his scheduled weekends, BM always comes up with some excuse as to why they need to stay with her. “They’ve been at your mom’s all week.” “I miss them.” “I didn’t get to see them much this week.” Blah, blah, blah.
Last night was the first night that DH has spoken with BM since leaving her a voicemail earlier in the week, telling her that he would no longer tolerate her talking about me to him or the kids (go DH!). Of course, BM was hostile. The kids have been in Kansas with BM’s mom for the past week. They stayed the night in Indiana before driving back today. DH called the kids and let them know that he was excited to see them. Both kids acted very confused. This is DH’s weekend. (Back story: The CO states that DH has the kids two weekends on, one off. However, sometime after the beginning of the year, DH and BM came to a verbal agreement that DH would have the kids EOW, and on the weekends he didn’t have them, they would be her two days during the week. This was never filed with the court.) Well, DH talked to BM who started her usual “your daughter has been in tears wanting to see her mother” crap. DH was rational. He explained to her that he also missed his children, who he has gotten to see a lot less of this summer than her. This is where BM began taking her slurs.
DH: I’ll be there to pick them up when I get off of work tomorrow.
BM: That’s up to the kids.
DH: No. I haven’t been able to see them much, and I’ll be there tomorrow to pick them up.
BM: We’ll see. You know, the kids don’t want to come over there. They know it sucks over there.
DH: Whatever. Keep filling them with your lies. I can’t wait until they grow up and realize who their mother really is.
BM: I don’t know what you’re talking about. There was plenty of time for you to see them this summer.
DH: Right. I work 60 or more hours a week.
BM: Well, I work 40+.
DH: Yeah, but you didn’t tell the CS office that, did you? All you care about is the $$.
BM: Why are YOU trying to argue with ME?
DH: I’ll be there when I get off work tomorrow to pick them up. Bye.
As it stands, DH has no ground to stand on, I’m afraid. The verbal agreement won’t hold up, and the original CO states no dates/times, so it is essentially useless. We do have a notice from the judge where DH filed a motion due to BM withholding visitation last November. It states that BM needs to follow to CO, but DH has been told by the police that there is nothing they can do to make her hand over the children because there are no dates/times listed. I told DH that he needs to go Monday and file a motion to change the visitation schedule. He’s afraid because “most dads only get EOW”. If DH has been receiving his EOW + 2 days schedule by the verbal agreement, will the judge take that into consideration?
UPDATE: BM had the kids call DH at work to tell him that they wouldn't be coming over this weekend. This means that, not only does DH lose MORE time with the kids, but SD9 is missing her baptism tommorow (which MIL did call and ok with BM).