Ok, in the 4 years I have been on this site (under 2 user names) I have noticed quite a few forum topics that start out with the title "am I being unreasonable". I figured I would start off with the definition of the word unreasonable, because I have often asked myself this. This vent is not about any particular post about being unreasonable, it is just something I have been accused of with disturbing frequency during my stint in step hell. "Not being guided by or based on good sense; beyond the limits of acceptability or fairness". Hmm

Just a few days ago, my IH (if anyone does not recall from my previous posts, he is Idiot Husband), came home from work talking on his cell phone. "OK, bud..." "When bud?" "March?" "That's great bud" "See you soon bud" "I love you". IH turns to me, the unreasonable b!tch cooking dinner with a nearly 4 year old tugging at my pants and holding a 1 year old on my hip while laundry tumbles itself dry and dishes wash themselves in the dishwasher. "What are you making?" "Chicken and gravy with mashed potatoes and corn" *Lets mysterious phone call alone for an hour while I continue to cook/clean/entertain children and IH plays on his phone on the couch. "IH, what is going on with stepspawn? Was that him on the phone before?" "Oh, yeah. He is going to come visit soon. The Navy offered him a sign on bonus to start early and so he can only come to visit in March before he starts training." "Oh, when?" "I don't know yet." "Were you going to discuss it with me at all?" "IH flies off the handle and yells that I am "unreasonable" and he does not have to ask my permission to see his son. Turns into a long and drawn out arguement.

For what it is worth, I hate stepspawn. IH knows this. Stepspawn has caused me more emotional distress than I can articulate. He was physically, verbally and emotionally abusive to me for the 2 years and 22 days he was living with me FT. He was last here for Christmas break, it was supposed to be for 4 days. Then 7... he left after 10. He acted as though he was a guest and I was treated the the servant facilitator of his and IH's reunion father-son fun time.

I do think I am entitled to be consulted on having his son come to stay for any visits. It is my home too. I am tired of the "but its my sssssssooooooonnnnnn" BS. If you were man enough to make sure he did not disrespect me and my home and our children, maybe I wouldn't hate him.... but I would still feel like I should be at least included in any plans involving long term visitors in the home I jointly own and live in.

Not being guided by or based on good sense; beyond the limits of acceptability or fairness, my a$$. In fact, in my time in step hell, I feel like I have been asked to overlook a rediculous amount of unreasonable behavior by my IH and his spawn.

End rant.