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OT(but kinda not) do you refi a house??????

lil_teapot's picture

I need advice from anyone since I haven't been down this road before.
FH divorced the evil bitchmonster and in the divorce decree she got one house, he got another but they are both on the mortgage for both houses (I think--I know for sure she's on our mortgage, because she works for a bank and we get a lower rate).
There was some sort of home equity loan as they were divorcing--they both took it out but she used it...whatever that means. So she owes $10,000 still on it.
Anyhoo, I need to figure out how to sort all this crap out. It all stems from their divorce/separation decrees. I need a lawyer to sort that all out and explain how to refi the house while dealing with all that crap left over from the divorce.
Do any of y'all know about refi because I'm clueless...and throw in the divorce nonsense and all her threats and I'm freaking out and need some good, smart advice.
Thanks Smile


stepmasochist's picture

Your cheapest option for professional advice might be to go to a banker you trust. If you don't have a working relationship with one, maybe a family member does. A bank officer might be a good person to help you sort through it. That is a scary situation and I hope you can get it sorted soon.

You don't have to re-fi with them, but you can check out what you need to do and what you're liable for, etc.

lil_teapot's picture

but finding a good bank isn't the BM is VP of a bank and has her skank-buddies in other banks, so I'm trying to be careful but not go completely paranoid. I just want us off her bank entirely because if she's feeling powerful enough to send me threatening emails from her work account, you can bet she'd be all in our financial business too even if it is illegal to do that.

Amazed's picture

You'll definitely have to have copies of EVERYTHING pertaining to who got what and who owes what. Next, you'll need to shop around to see where you can get the best deal on a refinance. After you find the company you want to work with they will assign a loan officer to your case. You'll have to provide documentation to the loan officer such as current title,current mortgage note,what the current payoff amount is on the mortgage (they usually want one that is only a month old, paystubs for you and your husband,etc... The ex will have to sign various documents to release the title and loan (forgive me I don't know what these docs are exactly.) Usually if you have a good loan officer, they will do most leg work for you and give you step by step about what documents they need from you.

I know this isn't an exact explanation but hopefully it helps get you started. I used to process refinances but it has been like 7 years since i've done it!

~I've been drinkin down your pain...gonna turn that whiskey into rain and wash you away...~

lil_teapot's picture

I'll get all the copies. BM isn't on the deed--he's deeded the house,she's only on the mortgage...but the home equity loan thing I don't get, and neither does he...
I thought maybe a lawyer might understand it all and direct us to the bank--once someone explains it all to me.
THis hurts my head Sad

lil_teapot's picture

We've got just a few more years to pay on it anyways, so that sounds good. Plus we're doing alot around the outside. Who would have thought appraisal would be a good thing LOL

DISbelief's picture

First and foremost, find a Loan Officer that you TRUST... if you are uncomfortable for ANY REASON... find someone else. PM me if you have any specific questions.... I can help walk you through it. Here is a basic needs list (based off California requirements, some states vary:

Current 2 months pay stubs
Current 2 months bank statements
last 2 years tax info (personal and business if self employed)
Recent Mortgage Statement (for ALL liens on property)
Copy of current Hazard Insurance
Copy of current tax bill
Copy of Drivers License
Copy of Social Security Cards
Divroce decree, or custody paperwork (if either of you have one, to prove child support amount, that is counted as monthly debt)

They will complete a appraisal on your house to determine the value, that is how they will base your new loan amount. It is a daunting process, but its not as bad as it sounds...

Let me know if you have questions...


~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

Georgie Girl's picture

What I mean by this is your homes' value less than the current mortgage note on the home? If is is you will not be able to refinance. If you owe less than the current value you are in good shape. Then the loan officer will look at your homes' equity and see if you have enough equity in the home to secure a new loan.

lil_teapot's picture

we're paying on principal now with only a few years left...but we gotta get the bm off the mortgage because she's so unstable and threatening.

Rags's picture

that she cannot claim any of your equity.

As I am sure you are already doing.

You may want to try a Mortgage Broker who represents multiple lenders with the stipulation that BM's bank not be approached as a possible lender for your Re-fi.

Good luck and best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is consistency of effort and courage that counts. Vince Lombardi

lil_teapot's picture

I didn't know there were ones who did multiple lenders...
very interesting...
Thanks so much for something to think about Smile

sparky's picture

If the X has a home equity tied up in your house she can sink your ship on the equity. She can charge 50,000 or 100, and it must be paid off when its sold so you never really have any equity.

lil_teapot's picture

What does that mean??? I'm sorry if I sound stupid but I've never done these things...
So, out of the $20K they got as an equity loan, she can screw up our equity????
I have her last threatening email where she said she'd pay her $10K...I'll take it to court with me if I have to because like I told fh I will NOT be paying her debt!!!!! He erased the email for whatever reason but I have copies stashed in safe locations out of the Never piss off a

melis070179's picture

Okay so the home equity loan is on your house? Sounds like since she is not on the title, she has obligation to the mortgage but no rights to the property, which is good. I just refinanced with my DH because my exH was still on the mortgage, but not on the title. We just checked a couple mortgage companies rates, Navy FCU & Bank of America were the best, and applied for the loan. The problem with the home equity is your new mortgage will have to pay off your current mortgage & the equity loan, and you will have to get BM's half from her someohow. If its in the divorce decree that she is obligated to pay half of the loan then she can make her payments to you guys or pay her whole share in one lump sum. But if she's not on the title, it won't be any problem to refinance it as long as you have at least 20% equity in it...meaning if its worth 100K then you can't owe more than 80K TOTAL (including 1st mortgage & equity loan). If he is on her mortgage, you can't do anything about it until she decides to refinance. So hopefully she won't be late or not pay cause it'll screw up his credit.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

lil_teapot's picture

That's pretty much what fh and I have discussed based on both our limited understandings of the procedure. My concern is that although we can refi no problem and fh owns the deed, I don't want to get stuck paying bm's debt on the home equity loan. She's stated in that threatening crazy email that she will pay him if we refi, but I think I'd probably have to take her to court to enforce it and that would make fh all wussy and we'd probably wind up fighting and letting her bone us for over $10K...I don't want that. If it's in their divorce/sepration papers that she's to pay such and such, i want it enforced, otherwise I'll have to go with that whole wuss-out thing above. Like I say, I feel ok about refi because we're good on the upside of the equity position(we owe less than it's worth), I'm just concerned that we'll wind up paying her bill and leave me with yet another reason to hate her.
Thanks so much!

melis070179's picture

If she says she's going to pay it, great...if she doesn't, yes you'd have to go to court to enforce it Sad But hopefully if its already in the divorce decree that she owes half that debt, she will be smart enough to know that she would lose in court & will just do it upfront. But I would definitely refi anyways as long as its already in the divorce decree that she is ordered to pay half.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"