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OT - Do y’all remember…

Lillywy00's picture

Do you all remember some of your first thoughts when you discovered you were going to have a baby for the first (or newly second, third, etc) time?

Not going to lie some of my first thoughts were:

  • "D@mn I hope those shots of liquor 2 weeks ago and pre-discovery of pregnancy boozing don't kill this kids brain cells"
  • "If this dude thinks he's going to be naming our kid with those ridiculous names he's going to be sadly mistaken"
  • "Lordt....please don't give my baby a face only a mother could love"
  • "Narcissistic breeder .... (in my Maury Povich voice) .... You ARE the father!!!!" 


Lillywy00's picture twins run in yours or your ex's family?

I remember my ultrasound tech telling me she thought she saw twins... I was about to have an outer body experience or something bc I think multiples (or at least to concept of it) is pretty amazing  

I'd probably have been more excited for twins than a single kid...even though I barely felt ready for one single kid  


Yesterdays's picture

Twins are awesome! It runs on both sides of our families. I have twin uncles and twin  cousins and my cousin also had twins 

Lillywy00's picture

When it came to those former skids I remember thinking 

"I hope this dude doesn't make this a hard job for me" ....

... aaaanddd sure enough ... he did - or maybe I subconsciously attracted what I did not want in this case

Rags's picture

As a non breeder, I have had nothing more than a scare or two.  

My first Uni GF became pregant.  We had only been dating a couple months.  Her former BF who had transferred to a different Uni across the country flew in with a friend to party in our Uni town.  She slept with him.

About a month later... pregnant.  Based on the history leading up to that point, about 4yrs of being sexually active, and the 40 years since, I  highly doubt the pregnanacy was mine.  But, being me, I proposed, we got engaged, I funded her trip to PP by selling my boat, and... no more pregnancy. We remained engaged for about 14mos.  She graduated a few months after the abortion. The next year she was working and living about a 4hr drive away.  We maintained our engagement until just before Spring Break of my Sophomore Uni year when I gained clarity that I was far from ready to be a DH.  So I ended it shortly after my 21st Bday.

I had no deep thoughts on much of anything when we found out about the pregnancy.

About my only thought on the topic, and an extremely rare thought, is that I would have a 40yo kid if she had made a different choice.


Lillywy00's picture

You proposed .... as a freshman in college? 
 Geez you were bold. 
I'd be hollaring from the rooftops "when it comes to 4weeks old zygote .... dude, you ARE the father (in my dramatic Maury Povich voice)" and "eff my baby daddy....(In my ratchet Sexxy Red voice)"

Just kidding 

I definitely would have aborted if I got pregnant in college bc ain't no way I'm going to be tied down to a crumbsnatcher or a man back during my carefree af college days. 

But to each their own! 

You seem like a good man who tries to be responsible for your actions and obligations. And that's quite respectable considering how a lot of men are operating out here. 

Rags's picture

Yep, I did propose as a 19yo Freshman.

I had zero idea about how to support a DW and a baby. But, I did propose. My then GF/Fiance was one semester from graduation with her BS so she in all liklihood would have been the earner since I was just one semester into what turned out to be an 11yr undergrad plan.

I'm not sure why but I rarely panic during stress of crisis until I am up to my throat in aligators.  Then it sinks in that a shit storm is imminent.  Even now that is par for my course.  The panic period is extremely brief as I usually engage my well devolped situational awareness and engage the appropriate resources to reslove the crisis.

I move things along, then when someone decides it is a crisis, I have a brief period of stress, calm things down, solve the problem, then get back to doing what is important, prudent, and value added. Panic just pisses me off since it is almost never value added.

I just got out of a meeting where my boss and I disagreed. He was the one to panic. I engaged other team members, we immediately mapped the plan, they took actions to follow up on, I moved on to what I was doing. My boss was irritated that I did not do the work.  I reminded him that the company hired to build, lead, and replicate the my area of responsibility and not to stroke keys.   We will see if he recognizes that next week during my 90 day review.


thinkthrice's picture

I was looking for the three wise men.

simifan's picture

LOL. I am short. My whole family is short. My dad was 5'5' and one of the tallest men in the family. Little man syndrome runs strong in my family.  I kept thinking, if its a boy, please let him have his fathers genes (exH is 6'). My son is a carbon copy of his dad & 5'11".

Even funnier, my boss at the time told me once she knew her child was a boy, she kept wishing he wouldn't have a little d@@k like his dad - the man she was still married to. 

Thumper's picture

I remember being worried about having twins and triplets. THEY do run in our family on both sides current and previous generations back. 

Thankfully that did not happen.

Other than having terrible morning sickness with all my pregancies, I LOVED ever moment of it. I could not understand other moms who would say,  how much they hated it abd cound not wait until 'it gets out'



BethAnne's picture

I was scared. I got pregnant the first time about a month into the pandemic. We didn't really know anything then and on top of covid fears there were news reports of mothers giving birth alone in hospital without their partners. I was also constantly trying to prepare myself to give birth on my own in case my husband wouldn't be allowed to be with me. I was advised to stop my medication and got suicidally depressed.

Second pregnancy I was just exhausted, my first was only 9 months old and being pregnant with a young child already was exhausting. I was also paranoid that I'd let my eldest down and would no longer be able to have so much time for him. Depression also returned, though antidepressants kept it from getting too bad that time. I didn't know how I was going to cope with two kids. 

Pregnancy is not for me. 

Rags's picture

Pregnancy may not be for you, yet here you are. Rocking the mom thing and no doubt your LOs are blessed to have won the mom lottery!

Give rose