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Your Partner Treats You Badly because You Let Them

lieutenant_dad's picture

UPFRONT NOTE: I am not talking about abuse here. Before anyone starts down the victim-blaming line of thinking, that's not where I'm going with this.

Now, time for a Lt. Dad's fireside announcement, because there is no chat or back-and-forth with this.

Your partner treats you like crap because you keep allowing them to treat you like crap.

They move their kid into your house, and all you can muster is a fight? Their kids are stealing from you? Being disrespectful in how they all talk to you? Disregard your feelings and don't take any opinion you have into consideration?

Solution: Lowes sells moving boxes for $2 a piece, and you can find packing tape at any store. If you're a bargain hunter like me, heavy-duty trash bags are even cheaper AND hold more crap.

DO. NOT. ACCEPT. THIS. TREATMENT.

If they don't learn and change their behavior to not a-holes the FIRST time you bring it up, then you don't let it get to a second. They treat you like crap because there is no consequence. They CAN be an a-hole to you and not expend the energy to be a good person to you because you allow it. 

STOP. ALLOWING. IT.

It is better to be single than subjugated to disrespect, belittling, and disregard that eventually BECOMES abuse, and eventually erodes your own self-esteem, self-confidence, and just self.

Go open you a Tik Tok account, go find you some Madam Adam, and listen to their daily mantras about being powerful, enough, and a bad b*tch. The chaos you're allowing for yourself is NOT needed or worth a partner. If they aren't building you up, then they shouldn't have the opportunity to tear down the work YOU do for yourself.

 

Comments

hereiam's picture

Amen.

And I wish that women would stop allowing themselves to be put in a position where they feel stuck, financially. I know that things can happen that are beyond our control, but it is so disheartening when a woman is being treated so badly but says that she can't afford to leave and be on her own.

ndc's picture

This is great advice!  Self respect is so important. Love and respect yourself enough that you don't allow others to treat you poorly.

Aniki's picture

Lt Dad, I love your fireside chats!

The only thing I want to add is that some stores (often grocery) will GIVE you boxes for free. Ask.

Tea kettle is whistling!

~Aniki's place always serves up a variety of coffees and teas and juices for LD's FC. Virgin or spiked are available.~

Disengageme's picture

I am currently letting myself be treated bad. There's no rules, no consequences, no nothing for ss when he misbehaves. When I mention it I am the bad guy. Lol. I've been in an abusive marriage before and can't believe I've been sucked in again. I allowed it though. I do know that I'm not taking this type of treatment forever. I should have already left. 

Olivia2020's picture

Great truths! Amen!!

Free moving boxes on FB Marketplace, Nextdoor and worth a $20 investment from Lowes/HomeDepot too! 

I left that shitshow 15 months ago and my PEACE really is priceless! I got my solitude, sanity and self-respect back ;-) 

GTFO of any situation when people treat you like crap. Take no shit.