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OT - Pregnant and searching for a new daddy

lieutenant_dad's picture

Disclaimer: this doesn't have to do with me. I haven't totally lost my marbles.

My friend is single and on a popular dating app. He has been talking to this woman for a few days and liked her preliminarily. Similar interests, cute, educated - everything you want in a possible paramour.

That is, until she updated her dating profile and put that she is pregnant and about to be a single mom. "And if that bothers you, don't bother messaging me."

I just want to wrap this little darling up in a hug and whisper in her ear, "Darling, OF COURSE IT BOTHERS MEN SINCE YOU'RE CLEARLY TROLLING FOR A NEW DADDY!"

At least wait until the kiddo hatches before trying to dig your claws into some poor soul.

And for reassurance, my friend has taken a page from the Scooby Gang and ghosted. Not the most mature response, but better than letting her try and talk her way into his life (and wallet).

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

PHEW! For a second I thought you had done a total 180 on life and were here looking for some poor sap! Wink

That's terrifying... Glad your friend has stepped away. Cuz damn she sounds like a disaster!!!

ROFL

lieutenant_dad's picture

I wouldn't be. My extended family has a long history of teen pregnancy, baby mama/papa drama, and pseudo-dads. To give you a glimpse:

My SIL's cousin was a teen mom. The BD was murdered by his father. Cousin is devestated until the BD's mistress (are they called mistresses when everyone is 16-19 years old?) shows up at the funeral and tells Cousin WHO IS OBVIOUSLY PREGNANT WITH THE MURDER VICTIM'S KID (i.e. a secret that could have gone to the grave) that she was sleeping with BD. This was later confirmed by his friends who knew.

Anyway, few months before baby is born, she suckers some dude into playing Daddy, and this dude doted on her and baby. He went full-speed into Dad mode and cared more than Cousin did. Cousin gets tired of him, finda new but who lives a state away, dumps the only guy her kid has known as Dad and moves in with new guy. Last I checked, she left that dude and was with someone else. Kid is in 1st grade now, maybe?

So yeah. Not at all surprised by what men will do for booty.

Letti.R's picture

There's just an element of gross about this.
Some women can't be alone, even when it is clear they didn't swallow a watermelon.
Glad your friend dodged this bullet.

Of course Madam New Man can do what she wants and date whom she wants, when she wants, but it still has an element of off putting, pathetic desperation to me to not wait until she had off loaded her internal cargo.
 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I know somebody who got knocked up and the sperm donor went AWOL. IDK how but she found a man (he knew she was pregnant with some other guy’s spawn) they married and had more sons together. I think they’ve been married about 25 years but I’m not certain.

Just saying.

lieutenant_dad's picture

I also know step families who have successfully blended and everyone gets along.

I'm not saying it ISN'T possible, just not probable.

justmakingthebest's picture

I mean, we have blended well! OSS and my kids do great. My exH, his wife, DH and I all co-parent well. Whenever we did have YSS previously, everything was rainbows and sunshine. 

DH's 2nd ex wife is the bane of our exsistance though, so I can't say that I have a total success story. I am not going into all that here but yes, blending is possible! 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

It’s easier for men I’m certain and they quickly had sons together so he had biokids too.

shamds's picture

Comes to mind. This guy wasn’t grossed out. The woman was in her late 30s and never met responsible men so she got a random sperm donor and was artificially inseminated and meets a great guy that day and they start dating and she finds out she’s pregnant and tells him. He goes through all the motions of a pregnant woman and the responsibility of caring for kids and the financial impact and jlo was pregnant with twins in the movie

CLove's picture

Thank you I was trying to come up with the name of that one

Biggrin

susanm's picture

She also only gained weight in her belly and looked gorgeous the entire time.  With twins.  It was a movie.  Smile

elkclan's picture

I know what advice I'd be giving a friend/ son/ brother... Don't.

But when I was single and I had a disclaimer on my profile which was political - basically if you support x or y  (one on the right and one on the left) we won't get on - I had a surprising number of people trying to argue with me about it. Or another who told me he would have dated me except for my crazy non-support of his lefty politico. I'm like "ok, next..." and he's still trying to argue with me and make me feel like I was somehow missing out on his greatness and maybe I should re-consider my political views. Whatever... 

 

susanm's picture

Too funny!  When I was dating it was looooong before social media so you had to go out with someone before actually knowing all that much about them.  There were several men back in the day that could not understand why I would not change my opinions and general plans for life to match theirs for the privilege of continuing to date them.  One guy was looking for a future SAHM and simply could not understand why I would not be leaping at the "opportunity" to snag him!  LOL  I guess it is a bit easier now that there are profiles and you can weed out people that are clearly not a match before the first date.

elkclan's picture

Exactly and I took every opportunity to weed them out. I'd already had one crappy marriage and I wasn't about to enter another relationship unless I knew it would be good for me and them and that it would be good for my son. So I was very 'warts and all' on my profile. Not in the kind of "If I'm not good enough on my worst days, you don't deserve me on best days" kinda psycho bullshit, but more like "Look this is who I am, these are the kind of things that are a no-go for me..." I live in a huge city. I can afford to be picky. Not things like "I hate guys with long hair..." which generally I do - but if I'd put stuff like that on my profile I'd never have met my partner who is one of those guys with a pony tail is his late 40s. I still don't love it, but in his line of work he gets away with it and I got used to it. 

Oh and he hates politicians x and y, too. So there's that. We don't agree 100% politically and that's fine, but he totally understood why I lumped them in the same category even though x and y are poles apart on the political spectrum. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

??? I don’t care about others’ politics as long as they don’t berate me about mine. Me and DH are wildly different in politics.

elkclan's picture

I work in politics and it matters to me. You have other criteria. These are mine. 

My previous relationship got really poisoned when my ex took a very, very dark poltical turn. That was not the only problem, but it was a big one. I'm not into racist politics and I'm sure not into quasi-eugenics. Yuck.