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BM likely to lose her apartment...

lieutenant_dad's picture

Which means the kids will move in with us unless BM becomes a massive whatever about the situation.

She is seemingly still unemployed and her lease is up soon. Apparently the new management company is requiring all lease renewers to submit 6 pay stubs prior to their renewal. I question the legality of this, as well as the business sense (people with jobs forget to pay rent, and people without jobs manage to pay rent) and BM's accuracy of the situation.

It is starting to sink in for DH that he may end up having his kids full-time. I am still in denial, hopeful that she pulls something together before the end of next month. I have been playing logistics in my mind, and with a little help at the start, we can make it work just fine.

But as I think logistics, my anger toward BM just rises, justified or not. Her getting fired may or may not have been her fault, at least not intentially her fault. I don't want to pile onto someone who is down on their luck, but damn if this isn't frustrating.

BM has had 90% of life catered to her for the last 16 years. First she had DH who put a roof over her head and money in her hand. My MIL has housed her for free, GBM has housed her for free, and DH paid for her apartment for 4 years (before I camr along). She went back to school and has a marketable skill. She had MULTIPLE opportunities to kick her deadbeat now-XH out, which would have saved her a boatload of money. DH and FIL haslve ALWAYS figured out a way to make sure the boys have what they need.

Yet, somehow, she has nothing to show for any of it. Instead of allowing DH to have 50/50 or some other custody arrangement other than EOWE, she fought to diminish the little time he had. Instead of working 2-3 jobs when she had my MIL, GBM, and XH readily available to babysit, she did whatever she did. She has had more opportunities than most teen parents, and she pissed on all of them because...?

I'm bitter. I want to look at her and say, "hey, having the kids full-time with minimal involvement from DH is exactly what you wanted, so good luck!" But that only hurts the kids, and that is not fair to them. I am also resenting (though minority) DH's involvement with BM. I just can't see what he saw in her. I can't see what he thought made her a good candidate to procreate with, TWICE, and marry. I can't hold it against him or anything, but I do want to open up his brain and figure out WHY.

I'm just having a moment. The train is pulling into the station, and I can see the carnage a mile out. I'm mentally preparing myself for what will likely be a rough fall. DH and I are going to have to talk about this soon, but until he has simmered a bit and I have finally broken through denial into reality, that discussion will just be a fight. We still have time, but it's going to come up quick.

Comments

I love dogs's picture

I must've missed it but how do you have this information? I doubt she'll give up full custody if CS is currently her only income right now. The control aspect also doesn't go easily with these women. I know DH didn't intend to procreate with our BM, but the fact that he even touched her disgusting ass will always be beyond me.

lieutenant_dad's picture

She blabs a lot. If she loses her apartment, she'll have no where to go. Her and the kids will be homeless. DH will take her to court for custody, and given how many homeless kids there are right now with nowhere to go, the likelihood is that DH will get custody, ESPECIALLY since he can keep them in the same school and provide for all their needs and wants without CS.

Anti-Canada is rarely pro-dad, but it is anti-homeless children, and BM has multiple issues finding suitable housing (i.e. hideous credit, multiple evictions, no income).

Harry's picture

A man with kids, You can get them full time.  BM does not want to work !  BM doesn’t care where she lives !  Doesn’t care about her kids !   So pay for her apartment, or Take the kids ?? 

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'm well aware that we could end up with the kids full-time. That doesn't mean it is my preferred or ideal, especially with a BM that straddles between silent and HC. 

Cooooookies's picture

She will also realize that she'll no longer receive any CS...good luck.  Either way, if she's HC, will be a challenge.