BM complaining about money again...
So, apparently, BM actually did hurt her shoulder to the point that she can't even lift a water bottle. *eye roll*
That must mean she isn't working (AGAIN) because she was complaining to DH that money was tight and she couldn't pay her bills. This is code for "please give me money".
DH didnt take the bait, though he is obviously concerned about the kids. He even briefly chatted with me about how we could get them back and forth to school since we don't live in the district. He never talks about these things, only thinks about it or responds if I say something, so BM must have indicated that her money woes are legitimate.
I'm just ready for the other shoe to drop, or for her to put her shoes back on. Things have been in limbo since April-ish, and I'm tired of wondering EOWE if this will be the time we find out that they live in a hotel, or BM begs for rent money, or whatever. Is it really so much to ask for a parent to get their sh*t together, or at least figured out?
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It SHOULDN'T be too much to
It SHOULDN'T be too much to ask... But sometimes parents don't have their s*** together, mainly because they don't care to get it together. It's a severe lack of responsibility/care (I can't decide which one).
If your DH is worried I'd be curious about what she said. I still wouldn't give her money of course, but maybe send a few of the necessitites for the kids? Then she doesn't have money to spend how she chooses, but your DH may sleep a little easier knowing they have at least the basics covered.
If she's so poorly off she should apply for conventional or section 8 housing instead of begging everyone for rent. I know waiting lists are long. But normally they have preferences to help move people up the list and get the ones that really need it housed. The only reason she probalby hasn't is because she's expecting everyone else to clean everything up for her instead of handling it herself.
Kids aren't without stuff. We
Kids aren't without stuff. We always make sure they have the essentials at both houses. It sounds more like she is at the point where she can't keep her lights on or pay rent.
She should probably apply for Section 8, and I don't know if she has or not. I know her city has a fairly long waiting list, and she may have to move (which she wouldn't want to do, and that will be more important than housing in her eyes).
I just can't wrap my head around it, and I know it's eating at DH. He knows he has to make a decision about taking the kids, and I think he knows if he does that he'll have them forever. She'll never get back on her feet permanently, and he'll be doing the same song and dance you are with BM - knowing he can but knowing the courts won't care once BM is "functional" again.
"Functional" being the most
"Functional" being the most relative term. The courts didn't even check for any form of proof that BM was ready to have kids anywhere near her. They were just all "oh! She's mom! She's ready to be awesome!" But she wasn't.
That being said I totally understand your husband's frustration on this. Your HCBM likes throwing blame and playing the victim about as much as our BM, and it's just a lot of extra drama to have in your life.
They aren't doing without yet though, so it's completley up to your Dh to decide as long as they aren't suffering (which it doesn't sound like they are too much yet).
Are you ready for the skids
Are you ready for the skids to come live with you yet? I would think that the threat of losing any money coming her way would be enough to keep her motivated. Have DH tell her that since she is struggling so much, its time for the skids to live with him. Always worked with our BM.
Ready? Sure. I've always been
Ready? Sure. I've always been ready. Not my favorite solution, but the kids are generally well-behaved and listen to DH and I. They have never been the problem, outside minor COD annoyances.
As far as losing money is concerned, I don't actually think it would matter. It sounds like she is at a do-or-die point, even with $1,000 in CS coming in. She won't be able to keep her apartment, and DH already put her on notice that if she lost housing again (yeah, not the first time; long story full of lies and drama) that the kids would live with him. DH doesn't make empty threats, so she should know.
Though, maybe he does need to bring it up again. I don't think it would make a bit of difference, other than maybe have her voluntarily give them up versus make DH drag her into court and waste his money.
Nothing motivates this woman. She is totally ruled by her emotions, so it's nearly impossible to know what exactly will or won't make her do something. It is like dealing with a moody teenager, not a logical or rational (even if their rationale/logic is twisted) adult.