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BM: "SD14 does not need to see a psychologist"

Letti_R's picture

The police interviewed SD14 this week after I pressed charges for assault.
SD doesn't care. At first she lied about slapping me until fiance told her to stop lying to the police.
She has been cautioned by the police (in the presence of her parents) and warned she will be in big trouble if she ever again hits someone else.

The police made recommendations to her parents about psychological help.
BM has decided no.
Her daughter is not crazy, she did nothing wrong. There will be no psychological help for SD14.
Fiance is furious. He wants SD to see a psychologist.
They have joint decision making on medical issues and if someone says no, there is no intervention.

I had to block BM's phone number after she sent me a string of rude text messages.

BM wins.


oneoffour's picture

No, BM doesn't win. She is allowing a feral child loose on the world and will be judged accordingly. People will look at SD and say "What the h*** did her mother do there?" No one says "Oh poor baby. She must have a Stepmother and obviously she is evil." Well if they do they aren't worth it. As for BM thinking her daughter isn't crazy, well she isn't crazy. People see therapists for all kinds of things.

Moving out is a good idea as well. You get your own space and DH finds out what life will be like handling his 2 girls alone. If Sd12s attitude changes to Miss Unicornsandfairydust he may understand this is about control. SD12 wanting to run his life. And one way to change that is for him to apply the same rules SD uses against her.
When she has friends over he should walk in the room and make some craptastic remark about one of her friends under his breath so SD can hear him. He should pout and sulk and tell SD she can't have friends over because he doesn't like them. When she gets pissy he can slam it back at her... You decided to hate my friends I have decided to hate yours. I want your friends out of my house NOW! See? Not so nice having someone else deciding your relationships is it?

Letti_R's picture

I want to see what is going to happen with his SD's.
SD11 is a great kid. I like her.

SD14? First class B.
I want to see if fiance has her over and how he manages these girls on his own.

It was felt like a weight off my shoulders to not live with him.

MurphysLaw's picture

“BM wins”....Until the little b!tch hits someone else and BM is paying the hospital bill.

Here’s a Pro-Tip for you Letti...
Learn how to Head Butt....”I never laid a hand on her Officer, I slipped, was falling and accidentally broke SDs nose in the process”
Trust me...for people that like to “get in your face “, they never see it coming. Protect yourself.

Letti_R's picture

LOL. Thank you.

After I move out of fiance's house (tomorrow) I do have extra time in the evenings.
I will use that time at the local boxing gym!

Thank you for the tip. I want to learn that trick Smile

I love dogs's picture

Of course BM doesn't want intervention. BM is the one who taught her to hit! BM doesn't win, she actually lost. She couldn't control the urge to send you hateful messages and didn't get a rise out of you. Letti wins! I wish you the best with your move and I agree with everything you're doing.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

"Dear Lawyer, please find attached the police report of SD assaulting my wife and BM's refusal to have SD see a therapist. What can be done about this? My daughter needs help now, before she becomes more violent and ruins her life. Thanks! -DH"

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I'm glad someone said this.

This is exactly what you need to do. If possible you could even take the kid for a "check up" with a medical doctor and bring up the issues. They might also recommend a therapist.

BM can refuse to a point but with professionals saying the kid needs to see someone it starts to eat away at her ability to stop it. She is boarding on medical neglect here and causing harm to the child long term.

A child assaulting anyone is a big deal. It's not something that needs to be ignored.

WagiMorri's picture

There are few things that piss me off more than people who say therapy is only for crazy people... I wasn't crazy because I needed grief counseling. Therapy is for many things and for children it can be an amazing tool to help them learn how to cope with stress and grow into a healthy person. BM is an ignorant idiot.

ndc's picture

I agree with brisket. Your SO needs to be proactive about this and get his daughter the help she needs. He is doing her (and your relationship) a disservice if he just accepts "no" from BM. Is there any way to have counseling made a condition to the charges not being fully pursued?

1wonder woman's picture

Wow! I'm.the lady that recently had her boyfriends 11 year old throw hot coco in my face and his kid laughed in my face. We decided to sit his kid down and talk to her together. Well he picked her up they come into my house she asked her dad for a cup of hot coco right away.. omg! She sure did!.. I said since you mentioned hot coco your dad and I need to talk to you. My boyfriend says I already talked to her about what happen in the car before got here. Omg! What happened to us talking to her together? I was pissed! He said she said it was a accident! Now I'm really pissed I looked right at her I told her you are lying to your dad and u know and I know and God above knows the truth... The truth is this was done on purpose! She said no no it was a accident ... I flicked my cup and the Coco came out at you... Really? Really? I told her when ever anyone is holding any cup filled with hot stuff in it they handle it with care because they do not want to get burned! I told her you did not trip in anything! You did not even say I'm sorry it was a accident right after u did it! I told her... I will never be alone with you ever again you betrayed my trust you hurt me and you are lying... I can't risk it... What are u going to lie about next? He will not tell the kids mom because he is afraid if she finds out she will think their kid hates me and she will allow the kid to decide to not come and visit him anymore. They leave it up to the kid to decide if she wants to go to her dad's every week... Yep... What the kid wants the kid gets... Spoiled! I read what you've been going through! Omg! Now I'm nervous maybe these kids do this crap on purpose
To get their parents back together... Very disturbing!