More hurt than mad...I think....
So, DH has an aunt who I "used" to be very close to...and her family... She is like a mother to him becasue his mother lives out of the country...so she has been there over the last 16 yrs living minutes away from us. Anyway, the reason I do not speak to the family anymore is because over the last year or so, his aunt has had BM over for dinner, company, etc etc.... BM has put my DH thru sooo much BS over the years and the aunt has been a shoulder to cry on for DH....she was there for him thru it all, even accompanying him to court several times. BM has disrespected me and DH so many times and Aunt knows all this. I just dont understand. I was recently thinking of letting all this go and trying to form a relationship with Aunt and family again, however I log on to my Facebook and "BAM" first thing I see is pictures AUNT posted "FAMILY DINNER" and who is in the pic at a restaurant TONITE with the entire family???? BM!!!!! I brought it up to my DH...he says he doesnt understand why his aunt is becoming so close to BM and no matter what he will not feel any different towards his AUNT...he says there is nothing he can do to change whats going on..blah blah blah
I feel that he COULD tell his Aunt that her relationship with BM bothers him and ME...but he won't....
Also, aunt knows why the reason I have become so distant is because of her relationship with BM, however she continues to have a relationship with this woman!!! So I assume I do not mean that much to her...
It really hurts...a lot...and I am NOT MAD at my DH I am just upset...Aunt means the world to him and he would never want to do anything to hurt her.
Well I have deleted AUNT as my friend on FB so I wouldnt be subject to any pictures....
I dont know what to do or how to feel....am I wrong feeling this way? I mean if AUNT wants to spend time with my 2 SK's thats understandable but y does BM need to be included?? I just dont get it.
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(((Leogirl))) I am so sorry
(((Leogirl)))
I am so sorry that you are hurting.
I will say, that my SO's ex screwed him over royally, put him out in the cold. His mother still sociallizes with her, and maintains a relationship with her. Both live out of state from SO and I (different states than each other). I was a little bothered by it at first, until I had a conversation with her about it. She HATES BM, she deals with her for the sake of the kids. (BM had two children that are not SO's) She would cut everyone off from them if they didn't (play nice).
I completly understand why you are upset. The aunt might have her reasons for "playing nice" with BM in your situation as well.
I never expect family to
I never expect family to write someone off just because they divorce, but when one person is an asshole and the wronged spouse's family still embraces the offending asshole, I simply do
not understand the behavior. What is the penalty for being a turd if
not alienation from the people you have tortured?
Norma Jean you are spot
Norma Jean you are spot on!
BM cheated on DH, got caught, told him she never loved him, took everything and is still a buddy to them all. UGH!
Another offshoot of this behaviour is how do you trust or have faith in anyone who condones this behaviour against a loved one?
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your comments and advice. It hurts...but I am trying to look past it. However, i will keep my distance. As long as my DH isnt around the skank, thats all I care about