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BM Shenanigans

Lemon65's picture

BM texted SO Saturday afternoon to say that she would not be dropping SD off Sunday and that SO could pick her up at 4 and spend an hour and half with her before her softball games (double header), if he wanted to. The reason for this was because SD was getting baptized at church and going to a lunch afterwards. SO and I were both a little shocked, as this was the first we had heard of this. According to BM, SD has been asking to be baptized for a while - a little surprising since she has only ever mentioned going to church with her GBM a couple of times.

Now, SO and I are not churchgoers and we don't care so much that SD has been indoctrinated. However, we do care that we would find out about something like this the day before. She had obviously known about it for a while because some of her family members arranged to be in town for it. BM's "rule" is that if we need to make a change of plans, we must let her know a week in advance. She is the biggest hypocrite I have ever known. Also, why not schedule the baptism on a Sunday when SD doesn't have two softball games later in the day?

I know for a fact that SO's mom is going to be very disappointed that she wasn't even given the opportunity to be there. SO wasn't going to tell her about it, but I told him that there's a chance that SD could bring it up and then his mom might think that we failed to notify her. However, I am proud for SO because he stood up for himself. He said to BM, "When SD gets older and asks why I wasn't there for something that is obviously important to her, are you going to tell her that I was excluded?" At that point, BM told him to feel free to come and gave him the address, so he did. There is a silver lining - I had an skid-free day yesterday and it was nice. SO can let BM dictate his schedule all he wants, but I won't participate.

Comments

tankh21's picture

Yeah it sounds like BM is playing games I mean if people were coming from out of town to watch the kid get baptized then did BM just "forget" to tell your DH until the day before?! I am sorry you have to deal with this crap. BM over here used to pull the same crap until I told my DH flat out that I wasn't going to let BM dictate my life because she was simply doing it on purpose.

Lemon65's picture

She absolutely does it on purpose, but SO doesn't see it. I guarantee she didn't want him at the baptism, so she waited until the last minute to tell him, not expecting him to put up a fight.

moving_on_again's picture

If I were DH, I would have added, "Also, I thought you wanted one week's notice for a change of schedule, not one day's. Next time I need to change the schedule, I will give you one day's notice and expect you to accommodate. Thanks!" 

Lemon65's picture

I wish he would have! I told him that next week, he should text BM when she's already on her way to our house and tell her that she will have to come back in the evening to pick SD up because we won't be able to bring her home. She would lose her sh!t Diablo

StepMamaBear6's picture

Are they Mormon?  In the Mormon society, baptism of children are held on the first Saturday of the month unless there is a compelling reason to move it to another time. Also, in the Mormon church, if the non-custodial parent does not consent to the baptism, a child cannot be baptized until the child is a legal adult.

Just curious.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

If I read this right I think they said the baptism was on a Sunday instead of a Saturday Smile

Lemon65's picture

The baptism was Sunday afternoon. They are not Mormon, they attend your garden-variety Christian mega-church.

Maxwell09's picture

Usually baptisms are held collectively and are planned well in advance. While it isn’t something BM could have just schedule on their free time, she definitely knew about it before the week of. At least that’s how the good old Southern Baptist here in the Bible Belt roll on Sunday’s. 

Siemprematahari's picture

If your H never puts his foot down when she does these last minute "schedules" she will continue to give him one day notice, instead of a week. She needs a dose of her own medicine and for H to open his mouth that this BS is not acceptable.

Lemon65's picture

Oh, I 100% agree! He has gotten better at standing up for himself, but if it were me I would be throwing down the gauntlet. That's why I always say that BM is very lucky to be dealing with SO and not me Diablo