Okay parents and step parents.... I need some advice.

I want to start by saying that I am not complaining, venting, or judging my SD. I just need some guidnence in how to help her.

I will give a little background. She lives with me and SO full time. she is the only child in the home. She is my SO only child, and I have no children. BM lives across coutry and is not really involved. The contact with BM consists of a 30 minute phone call maybe once a month or so. However she did spend the summer with her BM this past summer. It was the first visit in about 2 years. It was a disater.... lived in 4 different places, saw mom smoking drugs, mom went to jail for a week and she was left with moms other baby daddy.. we we were never notified until after the fact. There was never a set bed time, or meal time, just a really bad situation. After that fiasco we did get the court to award temporary supervised visitaion. BM is now required to come to our state for SUPERVISED visitation. We are working on making this a perminant order. 

I mention all of this because  I think it may be relevent to the current proplem, but am not sure. 

So the issue is that SD9 is wetting herself. The last time we talked to her about it, she basically addmitted that it was because she did not want to stop watching TV and was holding it and then forgot she was trying to hold it. She has also done this while she was playing with her dolls, or out side with her friends (the playing wiht her friends was before the pandemic). She just wont stop what shes doing to go when she feels it. 

It was mentioned to her doctor this past fall,  when her grandmother took her to her wellness check at the start of shcool, and the doctor found no medial cause for this. The doctor said that she was basically just not going to the bathroom when she felt like she needed ot go. I do plan on mentioning to her doctor agian though. 

I am at a loss. I feel like 9 is way to old to be dealing with these type of accidents. She is a very bright, confident, and extraverted little girl who does to appear to lack any sort of confidence or self esteem. These accidents are not just a once in a blue moon thing. It seems that over the las couple of months, she does okay for a week or two, then starts having frequent, almost daily accidents. We talk to her and it seems to get better, but then starts up again. 

Anybody on here who specializes in child development... I would love your feedback.