Is this unusual behavior for a toddler?
I'm pretty sure this is, but I would like others' opinions on the topic as well.
BM's youngest child, a girl, will be 2 years old at the end of October. She is very very tiny, although this could be because BM and BD are both slight of build. However, both of her other children were "porker's" when they were her age (including my SD) AND my DH is also not a big man and very slight of build.
My question is, when this particular little girl goes over to her Paternal Grandparent's house they'll ask her if she wants to go home (I've overheard the family asking while on the phone with SD and the baby's answer...mostly because SD will yell "SHE DOESN'T WANNA GO HOME). As you've probably figured out, she doesn't want to go. She'll stay at Grandma's house as long as possible. She doesn't talk about her mom or say she wants her mom. She doesn't want to go.
I would think this would be pretty unusual behavior for a kiddo as little as her? SD also has attachment issues with BM, but they lean more towards being overly clingy to her. Through BM's own doing, BM has been the only consistent figure in SD's life. If you've read my other posts, you'll know that BM uprooted her from our home state when she was 2, moved 1200 miles away and has moved/changed her phone number numerous times, etc without notifying us of the changes. It takes FOREVER to track her down.
Is this normal for a 2 year old? I wouldn't think so but what do I know..............
- lastchance's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Lol. We used to video my
Lol. We used to video my daughter screaming that she did not want to go home from my moms house. It was freaking hilarious!! My mom told me I did the same thing. I wanted to stay with G-ma all the time. Grandparents have a way of making the kids REALLY want to stay with them.
I am not sure why you would think it is not normal. All grandparents I know, spoil the crap out of the grandkids. I know I will!!!
No real experience with this
No real experience with this yet, other than my friend's kids. My friend's kids always talk about "mommy" when they're with me/us and after a couple of days want to see her or talk to her at least. This little girl doesn't even talk about her mom, doesn't want to go home, and doesn't want to talk to her. I guess that's what I think is weird????
Do you know if she does this
Do you know if she does this with anyone else besides just the grandparents?
SS3 does the same thing. He rarely, if ever speaks, of BM (unless he's asking me if I like her, or happens to see a car that looks like hers). He never says he misses her or asks to see her when he is with us, doesn't want to talk to her on the phone. He also screams bloody murder and throws a fit if he knows BM is picking him up, or BF is taking him to her house. And it's not because our house is just all fun and no rules. We don't know for sure why he does it, but we have our suspicions.
She only goes over to the
She only goes over to the Grandparent's that I know of, but with BM who knows. BM's own mother won't watch the kids anymore because BM has used her and manipulated her in the past so that she can go out partying (and to pick out baby daddy #5,6,7,8....maybe)
The baby's dad is stationed in Korea. I have heard her crying for her dad while on the phone with SD? I don't know.
I think a "friends kid" is a
I think a "friends kid" is a lot different than a granchild. I doubt you would treat your friends kid like a grandparent treats..(spoils) a grandkid.
I guess I would think it a little abnormal, if the child was acting that way with the babysitter or someone not real close, but I think since it is happening at the Gparents, then it is normal.
I really don't know if she
I really don't know if she does it with anyone else. I do know that BM is an extremely lazy and unmotivated parent. I was just thinking that if this kid really doesn't want to go home or talk to mom that bad, then she really must not be getting enough attention at home. That and the fact that BM has locked the brother (he's 3) in his room with a lock on the outside of the door so that she doesn't have to deal with him.
It's not like she's the only kid at Grandma's either. Anytime she's there she'll have at least one to three of her cousin's there as well.
She doesn't even really have
She doesn't even really have a fit. They ask her "do you want to go home?" or "do you want to go back to mommy's" and she just tells them no. Now, you try and separate her from one of her cousin's (they're a month apart), she throws an UNGODLY fit. Both of them do.
She's two. She loves saying
She's two. She loves saying "NO". Ask her if she wants a pony...she'll probably say "NO!"
My stepson was 1.5 when I met
My stepson was 1.5 when I met him, and he just turned 3. I think there's a lot of reasons why some kids don't "take" to a parent...it could be that she gets treated like a princess by grandma and not my mom, so of COURSE it's more fun to be at Grandma's!
They learn early to take advantage of people if they can.
In my case with my step son, he's a daddy's boy through and through. I attribute this to the fact that BM is very awkward, not affectionate, and not motherly. When she hugs the kids it's not a warm hug, it's just a "I better hug them because people are watching" kind of hug. It's not genuine. I think kids catch on to that fast. Because of BM, SS3 has had a really hard time opening up to me as well in this regard. He'll snuggle and love my fiance, but it's only about once a week that he is really snuggly with me (we have him 3-4 times/week). I just try to be as affectionate as I can with him so that he realizes that all women/mother figures aren't like BM.
Also, SS will say whatever his older sister is saying. If she says she doesn't wanna go to mom's, then he will say that too. If she says she wants to see mom or grandma or whoever, he will say that too!
I would be concerned if she NEVER showed any sort of attachment to her mother, even after seeing her. Does she run to her when she does see her? Is the BM affectionate? She may be slow developmentally/emotionally and just can't find an attachment yet to someone or the word "mom" to really realize what she is saying when she says she doesn't want to see her. If she forms appropriate attachments with other people then I guess it would be concerning too.
My dd loved going over to
My dd loved going over to gma's. And when I would show up to pick her up-she would sometimes say she wanted to stay. Now, my son was completely different-he always preferred me and was always ready to go. I have close relationships with all my kids