I'm always nagging at DH that even though BM is psycho, he should at least try to treat her with human decency... I have always intervened for him in the past, and have spent the last 11 years being the go between for the two of them, as I knew it was best for the skids. AS their custodial SM, it just made things easier on me if I knew what was going on...
Well, she really pissed me off back in November. I said my peace with her and told her I was done. She continued to leave messages on my voicemail, but I guess it finally got through to her I'd had enough. She hadn't called me in over 2 weeks. It was awesome! She left a message earlier this week, apologizing, and saying she wants to be "friends" again. She wanted me to know her grandfather was ill, and was in the hospital, and asked me to pray for her... (She only believes in God when it suits her, but finds it useful that I do...)
Ugh. Well, the grandfather passed away. She called DH to talk about taking the kids to the funeral. He left it up to the kids. But it's the same day SS15 has a big ball game, and SD17 has a college interview. SS14 told her he would go if she really needed him, but he said he felt uncomfortable since he really didn't know that side of her family. (Her family history is very warped. I'm sure her interest is a hope that there is $$$ in the will.) So DH called back and politely told her the kids would be unable to attend the funeral, but if she needed to see them, she was welcome to make a visit this week. (She has EOW, and is supposed to visit every Wednesday. In the 12 years my husband has had custody, she has only visited TWELVE WEDNESDAYS!)
So I've disengaged from her, and held my ground. I am not friends with this woman. But my "Southern Belle" upbringing has always allowed me to be nice to her, usually because through my niceness, I get my way. Now my blasted "training" is telling me I should send this woman a card, or flowers, to show empathy and respect for her loss. I'm really debating if I should. I know it's the "human" thing to do, but does it ruin all the progress I have made?
What do you think?