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Holy Cow!

Last-Wife's picture

They bought a cow. PITA skipped school and spent the day with Grandpa at a cattle sale. They brought home 2 cows. And apparently, PITA, Loghead and Grandpa had been planning this while. And no one discussed it with me. Smoke is coming out of my ears. Yes, we live on a "farm" but it's not really set up for cattle- more like goats and chickens. Which we've had some of each over the years, but the goats had to go when they started climbing on the new car three years ago... The winter months are coming, and we have no way to provide shelter for these animals. I don't know who paid for them. We're still trying to get back on our feet from Loghead being unemployed for 9 months. We can hardly pay the kids' lunch bills and have food for the dogs. The flat tired Monday night resulted in $150 expense we had not planned on... How the hell are we gonna pay for feed for 2 cows!

Shit, I hear chirping...

CRAP! Lazy Boye is walking around the house with a new chicken in his arms. Why the hell is there a chicken in my house! I know this is a new chicken, because she doesn't look like the ones we have.

I am so irritated, I am at a loss for words. Loghead is god-knows where. Grandpa (my FIL) just got here and is doing something in the kitchen with the skids. Gibby keeps running in and out of his room, even though I sent him to bed 10 minutes ago. I'm hiding in my computer room. Trying to decide if it's really worth the fight with Loghead if I say something about being irritated. It's not that I'm mad they didn't ask "permission," but they didn't at least discuss it with me... That just seems so unfair and "wrong." Cause if I say "why didn't you at least tell me" Loghead will be all "I don't ahve to tell you everything I do." And I'm thinking as a husband and wife team, "yea, ya do." I wouldn't go off and buy something ALIVE and BIG and EXPENSIVE without at least giving him warning first.

And I don't need a fight, three days before our anniversary... Ugh. I don't know...

Comments

Last-Wife's picture

Well, he is back at work now. and it may be PITA's summer job money... At least with a boat, the whole family could maybe have a little fun with it. I'm thinking a cow is not so fun...

instantfamily's picture

That is one messed up way to piss of your wife. Have you asked him how these critters are going to be cared for? And when he's building a barn for said cows? And how he plans to feed them? And who's mucking out the stalls?

I'd be livid pissed off if I were you, too!

caregiver1127's picture

Okay Last-wife you win - I can't imagine my hubby coming home with a cow I'm sorry not 1 cow but 2 - does he plan on slaughtering one for meat maybe? I really am sorry but I think this is the weirdest post I have seen. I can just see your expression when they rolled up with 2 cows - if it was me I woulda had a cow - Sorry I am laughing right now and hubby is looking at me like I am drunk but I just can't imagine A COW.

Also the chirping and you look over and lazy boye is carrying around a new chicken - do you ever wonder how you ended up where you are - you seriously could do a reality show - theres a thought you could make money off of this -

I am really sorry it is 3 days before anniversary he better remember or I would kill him or at least one of the cows.

Last-Wife's picture

you make me laugh every time! you always say the "right" thing. We need to be friends. I haven't seen the dang things yet, cause I was at parent conferences tonight. No, I came home and there are 2 giant baby bottles on the counter, like the kind you see in the zoo. so these aren't even like "cows." they're calves...

I have thought reality tv might be kinda interesting... A look at a real step family... As it is, someday at least I have a book going...

Oh, he's already been told if he doesn't arrange the sitter and make plans for a night out he better not plan on a 13 anniversary. And I told him the halloween barn party at my SIL DOESN'T COUNT!

Last-Wife's picture

And what have I exactly "won?" I'd like to know my prize! Cause this one sucks! Can I exchange it? LOL

caregiver1127's picture

You win the award of having the weirdest story on ST and the prize is that kitty you want - go get it!!

caregiver1127's picture

Also I would have taken one of those big ass baby bottles filled it with vodka and sat down in the living room hopefully in front of the fire and started drinking from it like no tomorrow! Really I still can't get over he brought home cows!

skylarksms's picture

EXACTLY! You'll have plenty of meat for a while! They can feed you instead of you feeding them!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

We have a rule in this house that might interest you.

"If it eats, breathes, or poops, it's not a good surprise. It requires a vote, and the "NO" wins".

I'm sorry. I'd kick someone's @$$ up in between their shoulders for slightly less than that. It's just too much. Too much!

Last-Wife's picture

I like your rule. I may have to institute it. And then turn around and break it, cause I'm thinking that kitten I have been wanting may as well join this animal farm we are creating!

caregiver1127's picture

You picked the road less traveled by humans but apparently not by 2 cows, some chickens in your house you have never seen and a whole bunch of other livestock and soon to be added little kitten!!! Smile }:) Wink

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

From a logistical point of view, you sort of NEED a kitten now that you will have to store grain to feed the cows. I mean, to catch mice and all, or their droppings will infect your poor cows' food. Maybe two kittens.

Last-Wife's picture

True... We will have mice... Again, I needed the laugh. It is now 6 am. And I ahve 2 teenage boys- the skids- running around in my QUIET morning time, blasting music and getting ready to go out to take care of the livestock.

caregiver1127's picture

Yeah but it is still happening like crazy - why all of a sudden and did you see my post to you regarding how you remind me of my mother?

oneoffour's picture

OK has someone been watching "Green Acres" on TVLand or something?

Good grief! Dorky kid walking around with a chicken under his arm and a couple of calves waiting outside for the Big CHop. There has to be a moral in there somewhere.

And even though I am a recent addition to this site, that is the freakiest funniest story I have heard in forever.

Maybe the moral is "Don't let the men in my family gather in groups of 2 or more without supervision."

JMC's picture

I can't stop laughing, this has got to be the funniest story ever on ST! Thanks for cheering up my morning Last Wife!