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Annoyed and overjoyed at the same time

Last-Wife's picture

Princess left this morning. she announces last night that she has decided to spend her last few days of her college break with her mother and "Lil Granma."

And she knew Loghead and I had plans to spend Saturday with her and take her to a big local event, and out to dinner, and getting last minute things she needs for back to school.

She had the nerve to ask for money to get the things we were going to buy. Loghead told her she was crazy. Um, his exact words were, "Are you as crazy as your mother? You can't be nice while you're here, you sleep all day, you don't do anything with us, but spend the whole vacation driving to see your mother every couple of days, and I can see on Facebook you are actually out running all over the state with friends?! No, you can't have any money!!!"

I can't remember the last time I was so turned on by him! LOL

We had 2 family gatherings over the holiday, and she posted all the pics with her brothers and cousins, and aunts and uncles. Didn't even take a picture with her father. Or me.

Posted about 30 pics of her and her mother. The same woman who told her in July she didn't want to be her mother anymore, she was just too tired of it.

Loghead and I always stand by her side, and all we get is crapped on.

My feelings really have been hurt while she's been home. I've worried so much about her having an eating disorder, and I'm scared for her. Everytime I tried to reach out, she kicked me aside. I'm pissed at the way she treated her father. The other night she was a real witch to Gibby. I told her that one of these days, Gibby won't ask to play with her, and she'll miss that, and will have lost that time in his life; time she won't ever get back...

But she's gone. I'm going to work harder in 2011 to not let her get under my skin... So much.

And for her absence, and my home returning to the new normal that has evolved since she left for college in August, I am overjoyed.

Caring about her just seems to hurt me too much.


rockermom's picture

I can't say I blame you one bit. This is exactly how my BF's step-D acts. He picks her up from the airport for her visits, and then she spends most of the time getting him to taxi her around to visit her friends (friends that he isn't introduced to, btw). She never chips in for anything, and she stays for weeks at a time. She expects to be catered to while she is here. Like the whole family is just sitting around, waiting to wait on her, because she is so educated, worldly, and exotic!

Except that now I've thrown a wrench into that. BF prefers to spend time with me, who gives to him as much as I get from hin, something foreign to step-D. This was the first time that she didn't have the family make a huge fuss over her for breathing their air; they were actually taking time to get to know me and my kids. She saw this as a threat to the status quo that she benefited from, and she hit the roof! In the process, she showed everyone that she was just as crazy as her BM, my BF's x-wife.

I'm glad to say that I won this round. I'm used to dealing with dysfunctional people (my mom, x-husband, and x-husband's whole family), and I know how to play the game. The key is to always remain strong, calm, and civil, but don't get emotional (I do my venting here and on other support sites). It drives dysfunctional people crazy that you are able to be calm, and that they look out of control. Because if you were to lose it, then everyone will think that YOU are the crazy one, but if you stay calm, then the dysfunctional person really shows their azz.

calm retreat's picture

That's my manifesto too, any time SD13 is in our home, instead of yelling we silently chant oommmm...... then when she's gone we laugh because she didn't get the response she wanted, or is used to.

alwaysanxious's picture

"I can't remember the last time I was so turned on by him! LOL"

That was perfect! Smile

Glad you have your light at the end of the tunnel!