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3 Page Love Letter from BM. No BM, Your hateful child has not been "chosen to make a difference in his Kingdom"

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SD turned 11 last week. That weekend, she saw her mom for a supervised visit. Something that irritated me was she wrote SD a 3 page "love letter" for her birthday. The thought is great and "sweet" if you will...but what was said in it does NOT fit SD at allll....I know Most parents think the world of their child, but this is a bit much...

DH read the letter before SD did..this is to ensure that BM is not sharing anything toxic with SD. DH let me read the letter as well. The letter was basically about how great SD is, how beautiful she is etc etc...

So frustrated and tired. Can't stand SD's face =(

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For the past few days, DH and I have been at each others throat. It's always about SD11. I won't say it's her fault, but indirectly, she is causing it. It started on Monday with her not doing homework that was supposed to be done. Every monday she has vocabulary words that she needs to learn. She also has to write down the definitions out of her school book and learn them. Every. Single. Monday I ask her when I pick her and DD6 up from school, "do you have your definitions written down?" Most of the time she stares at me and slowly shakes her head no. Then Every. Single.

I'm worried for my little ones...

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It's been one year exactly since DH has had sole custody of SD10. It's not going well. She is a very miserable, disturbed child. She is in couseling, but I'm not sure if it's going to help. The therapist says "she has experienced extreme trauma." The therapist does say that because SD is opening up and talking about "things" that she is making some progress. The "things" are things BM has done and caused.

O/T...Personal Question..10/11 years old using tampons? Your thoughts pleaseeee

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So, SD10 is about to be 11 next month. She has been complaining about cramps for a few weeks now. I don't think she is actually feeling "cramps" .. She has been having some problems at school and also some problems with her mother EOW and I think her stomach pains are stress related. I took her to the doc Fri and she couldn't find anything wron with her. However, we have been talking about periods, growing, and puberty. Her aunt on BM's side and I guess also BM has talked to her.

I'm done. No more. A rant, A rave, A promise.

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I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to stay positive all. the. time. I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of her goddamned attitude. I'm tired of her selfishness. I'm tired of her hateful personality. I did not raise her and this is not my fault. I keep trying to tell myself that it is not because of DH and I that his daughter is really emotionally fucked. However..it is our fault that we have not put a stop to her mean comments. It is our fault that she continues to be rude. It stops as of now. I will no longer worry about what a 10 year old thinks of me.

Having trouble with SD being very mean and ruide to her little siblings ...Looking for ideas on consequences

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So, ever since DH got custody of SD10 last January, we'v had issues with SD being very rude to BD6 and BS3. She has always had issues with her attitude and DH and I are trying to change 9 years worth of no manners and no discipline basically raising herself. She does a very good job of hiding it from us, but I can tell when she is being mean because in the middle of playing with BD, SD's voice will get really quiet, not quite a whisper and her tone changes. She tries to say it quietly so DH or me doesn't hear, but I do. I will address her and tell her to stop being rude.

So irritated with SD10..Not sure what I should do

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I'm so irritated with the things SD10 does and I don't know how to handle it anymore. Half of me says "get over it" and the other half says "no, it's not ok for her to act that way."

SD10 is a very greedy girl. I've always known this. But, it seems to be getting worse now that DH has custody. We have DD6 and DS3 who just love SD to death. They've never taken anything of SD's without asking. They know that SD is very possesive of her things and won't touch anything thats not theirs.

O/T- Anyone here live/ed in VA? Moving there next summer and would like real answers from real people :)

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Most of my family is in VA and most of DH's family is as well. I visited VA a couple summers ago and I loved it. The people are friendly and it seems like a great place to raise a family. But, when I was there, I thought I was going to die! It's hot! Not just hot, I mean almost unbearable. Sooo humid and sticky lol..Being born and raised in WA. I'm used to cool weather, cloudy gray days and lots of rain and I LOVE rain!!! I'm used to the cold and freezing rain. My family loves it in VA, and my grandma said that she lives here in WA because she can't handle the heat.

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