You are here

I have a lot to say

Lalena75's picture

But it will require a bit of time to get it all out. everytime SO gets his kids it's more drama and BM harming her kids emotionally.
Anyway quick question SO got an RO on the kids grandpa whom they and BM lived with, he kicked them out (his house) so they are staying at their uncles sharing a bed. The RO states grandpa is to have "no contact" and no third party contact. Today was SD's birthday CO says that BM and SO split birthdays but she only came and got sd for 2 hours, took her to her bf's and then mcdonalds. SD came home and immediately said "I talked to grandpa on mom's phone he told me happy birthday and kept asking if I missed him, he asked other stuff but I don't remember I was watching tv, oh I talked to grandma too." So it's a violation SO called the cops and reported it and he may of been arrested if he can be proven to of violated the order.
The big issue is Friday the kids were very upset about being here when it finally came out BM has threatened both kids if they don't lie and say dad is beating them, Grandma told ss if he didn't cry when SO got him from school she wouldn't ever see him again he cried she taped it and this was how I figured out the right question to ask "Are you being asked to do something you know is wrong." man both kids necks about broke nodding and then the tears started.
BM is hurting these kids! We have 0$ I mean nothing, no pro bono lawyers that take custody, no family members will loan SO lawyer money, and defending agaist the false allegations to dcfs SO's ex SD made (BM's lies again)
It's all hearsy it's all what those kids say no other proof is that enough is BM blatant disregard for her father beating the kids in front of her and THEN ignoring the RO enough to go for full custody or an RO against her with NO LAWYER we cannot get one this is not an option, I've already sold everything of value I have to keep my house and car, I have a part time job I have a strong suspicion I'll get but it's not going to be enough. Can we save these kids without a lawyer?

Comments

Lalena75's picture

We don't take the high road, we don't bash but we are honest and help them to let out how BM is making them feel. I ended the tip toeing about BM's behavior when she told ss I backhanded him to the ground (I asked him what is a backhand he had no idea and I said and when did your mom see this since she would of had to of seen since you don't know what she's talking about.) that was the end I told SO from now on we call her out we point out the lies to the kids without calling her a liar we describe it more by asking and is that a real thing that happened or one you were told to say happened but isn't real?
SO has set up counseling for ss because he's been BM and grandmas target, we've been giving them ways to defend by saying lying isn't nice/right they also on their own tell them that didn't really happen, and ss on his own started telling BM "no I won't lie on my dad" to which she told him if he's says that any more and doesn't do what she says she hits him, we told him he can say lying isn't nice or just say nothing look at BM and not respond so they don't get hit but that they aren't to lie ever, then they are to tell their teacher and us and we will help. SO realized this is getting worse for both kids and is going to add family counseling for all of us so his kids can have help and support, we can all work together, be a healthy dynamic my kids will be included (my son asked for counseling as well just dealing with normal kid stuff along with stress from his dad. We're lucky we have a great mental health group around here and SO's insurance pays all of this but a tiny co-pay