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No ho ho hope for a happy holiday.....

LadyTremaine81's picture

I wish my family was normal. The holidays are coming and I wish we were baking cookies,shopping and able to spend time together. Instead, we are-once again, dealing with the aftermath of a seriously damaged and possibly psychotic SD.

SD14 has gone and gotten herself arrested again. SD's mother went to see her in the psychiatric facility and SD beat the ever living snot out of her mother. For no reason. According to staff nothing happened. BM is hurt pretty badly, and she pressed charges against SD. While going through this process - the facility found a hidden cell phone SD had. In the phone she talks about robbing people for drugs, and having sex for drugs, money, clothing, you name it.....she failed a subsequent drug test and we are awaiting results from the lab.  There was even a Facebook account set up where SD appears to have been messaging some much older woman( my age) and sharing nude pictures of her frequent *ahem* "friends". This woman is now the subject of an investigation because this is a federal crime to send photos like this to a minor. There are several men under investigation. They range in ages between 19- 31. 

I'm not sure how to move on from this one. It is extremely depressing. My husband is ashamed and has been a total wreck the past couple of days. We approached the state and told the workers that she can not come back to our home, and we were told that it isn't up to us and it is up to the judge now. We begged them to put her in rehab or a permanent psychiatric facility or juvenile detention. It all depends on the hearing December 5 we are told. 

If my husband has to have his daughter after this- I'm going to have to file for a separation and he will have to leave. I know what I can handle and this was the end of it. It feels awful even saying this because my husband is my absolute best friend and such a great man. I have no idea where this child came from or what is wrong with her. I can't deal with this child anymore. 

What a sad, depressing and God awful way to end this already horrible year.  


ndc's picture

I hope for your sake and that of your husband that the judge decides to place your SD someplace other than your home (and hopefully somewhere that can help her) until she's legally an adult.  This is such a terrible situation for everyone involved.  I feel for your family and hope a suitable placement is found.

notarelative's picture

Has DH talked to a lawyer about this? I wouldn't assume that what the worker told him is correct. DH needs to know what his legal options are.

tog redux's picture

What they said is true - you can't just refuse to take kids home. It either becomes a CPS issue or if they allow a voluntary placement the parents will pay the state. But there are other options. 

LadyTremaine81's picture

We have a lawyer who was drafting up custody papers for us to transfer custody to mom. I'll call and speak to her about our options. 

Siemprematahari's picture

I feel for you and this awful situation and think you made a good call by having H leave the home should the judge decide SD needs to stay with him. You have put up with a lot, for so long and right now your mental health is at stake. Take care of you and yours and know that you are doing what is in YOUR best interest.


Harry's picture

You can not have her in your home.  She needs placement somewhere where professional can take care of her.  
She may never get better.  Somebody needs to find the right medications for her.   

advice.only2's picture

So since BM pressed charges shouldn't that help in keeping SD out of your home?  She's a violent offender.  When does she go to juvenile court for that? 

tog redux's picture

She was, per the post, and will appear in court. But she's a juvenile. They aren't going to lock her up for assault. 

LadyTremaine81's picture

She was arrested for domestic violence and assault.  And, a week ago she was arrested for selling drugs. And last year she was arrested for assault and battery. She put a young girl into a coma last year. They do nothing. 

LadyTremaine81's picture

Court is the 5th. I'm not too confident they will be placing her in juvie. She was processed for this yesterday in court and when we urged the judge to actually give her consequence and asked the judge for placement elsewhere than our home- the judge told us that it isnt up to us and she would do what she sees fit. She has done other similar things and nothing was ever done. We go back the 5th. 

MurphysLaw's picture

That's insane!

 I guess if she murders someone THEN they'll lock her up...till at least 21. Jaysus what a mess! Very sorry for your troubles!

LadyTremaine81's picture

I guess that's what they are waiting for. She's hurt people, is prostituting and robbing people, using drugs and obviously has some very serious issues. They just wait for it to get worse.